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Ladies it's time to reclaim your feminine power!
If you feel like you've lost it or if you feel
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like you want to shine it up a little bit more if
you feel like you're ready to lean more fully into
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your feminine gifts in today's podcast I'm going
to give you five ways to do just that welcome
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to the satisfied women podcast I'm your host,
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. This podcast is dedicated
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to helping women lean into their femininity and
rediscover the power of their feminine gifts we
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take a look at what it means to be a modern woman
and how we can live A Satisfied life on our own
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terms visit the hub at thesatisfiedwoman.com.
We've been living for thousands of years at this
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point in a primarily patriarchal culture
dominated by masculine values a culture
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that puts down femininity and devalues what it
truly means to be a powerful feminine woman if
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we look back historically women have been called
witches and burned at the stake we've had power
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taken away from us whether it be through
agency over our own bodies Our emotions or
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even our thoughts did you know that not until
1974 here in America a woman could open her
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own bank account is that crazy prior to 1974 a
woman had to have a male co-signer just to be
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able to be in control of her own money this is all
happening now for some of us within our lifetimes
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and right now we live in a very exciting time
a time where we have more agency opportunities
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and choices than any woman in the history of
the world things are changing they are getting
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better and women like you and I are at the
Forefront of that and what we need most is a
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template some training some ideas on how to become
more feminine on how to lean into our femininity
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on how to be empowered as women what we've had
before in terms of thoughts around femininity
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and empowering ourselves as women has actually
been on a man's terms prior to now women have
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really looked for success by fighting up the
corporate and social ladder by competing with
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others we're still trying to do things in a
man's way let's scrap that we don't need that
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we need to do things in our own way on our own
terms based on feminine gifts based on feminine
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qualities and based on what women and femininity
says is most important and valuable to us because
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it is different to the masculine Paradigm to the
patriarchy and different is not worse it doesn't
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mean anything is less valuable it just means it's
different things that are valued most highly by
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femininity are our intuition our emotions
the ability to be nourished receptivity Joy
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pleasure the gifts of feminine are tremendous and
our power lies in our femininity now we've had a
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lot of messaging that femininity is not powerful
that it's less desirable that the gifts of being a
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woman are problematic or to be hid under the rug
I remember even uh when I got my first period I
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was I felt deeply shameful around it and if you
look statistically most women have a negative
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experience with that initiation into full
Womanhood it is not celebrated it is not uh put
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on a pedestal necessarily it's a tough event and
if that's your inauguration into Womanhood what do
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you think about the rest of being a woman so you
and I are here to start to shift that to change it
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it's going to happen through individuals like us
it's going to happen through us revaluing our own
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femininity our gifts and reclaiming our feminine
power so I came up with five there's lots of ways
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as women we have lots of ways of doing things
there's not one right way of doing things but I
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came up with a list of five ways for us to start
to reclaim our power and really lean in to our
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feminine gifts so the first way is to let go of
success in favor of satisfaction success is really
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a patriarch or masculine Paradigm success is
indicative of success over successful uh because
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of some competition uh it's that keeping up with
the Joneses mentality where we can be successful
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but it means that other people cannot success is
very rarely shared I love it when it is and it's
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not impossible for it to be shared but typically
the way that we think of success the way that we
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achieve success is really very directed it's very
leadership oriented it's very masculine and as
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women so far we've tried to also play that game
and I did too for a very long time you may still
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be in that in that place you may desire success
I'm not saying that it's not for us I'm just
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saying that the uniquely feminine attribute is
not success it's rather satisfaction the feminine
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doesn't doesn't desire success the feminine
rather desires satisfaction and let me Define
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satisfaction for you it's it's very powerful
satisfaction is defined as the pleasure derived
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from the Fulfillment of your wishes and needs lean
into that think about that let that wash over you
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for a second imagine your world and all of your
wishes and needs fulfilled I know it sounds like
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magical thinking it does take work to get there
we're not trying to think our way into success and
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power and femininity and fulfillment or anything
like that we're going to do the work but I want us
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to do it on different terms where we are fulfilled
that means to be filled from within and also to be
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nourished and fed from without so this is both an
inside as well as an outside job yes as feminine
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women we can open ourselves to fulfillment we
can put ourselves in the places where fulfillment
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might happen but it's also incredibly important
to be surrounded by the people who cherish us the
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feminine desires to be cherished to be cherished
is to have our needs our wishes our emotions be
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prioritized and we have been deprioritized for
far too too long I know so many women you might
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be among them or you might know some who put
their needs last in their family structures they
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put their needs last in their job structures they
put their needs last in their social structures
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they put their needs last if we as individuals
put our needs last so will everyone around us so
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we want to prioritize our own wishes and needs and
Surround ourselves with others who also prioritize
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our own wishes and needs now that doesn't mean
they deprioritize our own that doesn't mean we
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suddenly live in the land of milk and honey
where everyone just serves us no no no in a
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truly feminine um Utopia let's say all wishes and
needs are fulfilled and through the Fulfillment
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of The Wishes and needs of the feminine others
also benefit that there is a mutually beneficial
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uh circumstance happening all around us where
we're not taking away from each other where
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everyone is nourished so I want you to be really
thoughtful about your life about the people in it
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about where you find yourself where you place
yourself you'll know that you're not satisfied
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when your wishes and needs are not being met
either by yourself or by those around you you'll
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know that you're not fulfilled when you feel
drained when you feel like that incredible well
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of receptivity that is femininity is empty
when your well is drained when you are not
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resourced when you are not nourished not only
do you feel a sense of burnout and exhaustion
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others around you can't feed off of your
generosity your pleasure your joy your um
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incredible creativity it will not nourish those
around you either everyone is in detriment when
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the feminine is not nourished everyone benefits
When the feminine is nourished so start to take
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notice start to take stock in your own life
look around who ch wishes you who prioritizes
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your needs and wishes who honors your emotions
and your intuition and heeds them and helps you
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become fulfilled and satisfied if you find
yourself in relationships spaces places that
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don't see if either you can shift them and rep
prioritize things you may be able to if people
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are receptive to you or remove yourself from these
places relationships spaces and choose others that
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serve you more deeply and truly this is all going
to start to happen on an individual level I need
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you to do this work and I need everyone listening
to do this work because we can't start to change
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the world and refocus femininity and reclaim
our feminine power if people don't know what
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an empowered woman is or looks like or what it
feels like to be around an empowered woman in her
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femininity so that's number one let go of success
in favor of satisfaction we don't need to compete
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we need to receive we don't need to lead we need
to collaborate we don't need to command we need
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to commune find the places and spaces that can
do that for you so that you can be fulfilled and
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so that your wishes and needs are prioritized and
met number two find people places and spaces that
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support your femininity and I mean this in a very
exclusive way now men have had their men's groups
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for ages I I lived in New York City for 16 years
and in New York City there were still exclusive
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men's groups that women couldn't enter that had
been there for hundreds of years I love that for
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them I want it for us I want women's groups women
supporting women means that women are empowered
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this is what we do this is how we get things done
by Mutual support and collaboration especially
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with other women the women around us who really
um you know are our Kindred Spirits they know what
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we're going through because they're likely going
through the same thing so I know everybody wants
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to be a part of everybody else's space and we want
to not not um you know let people in but can we
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just not let people in just on this one condition
that we have a Sacred Space for women for us to
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figure this out maybe you start your own women's
group maybe it's a a group that meets every full
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moon CU that is inherently feminine and Powerful
maybe it is a room that you rent in your apartment
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building every first Tuesday of the month for
you and your best girlfriends to get together
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maybe it is the ladies night that you hold sacred
with your girlfriends that does not devolve into
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cattiness and trickery but that always ends in in
mutual support love adoration and collaboration we
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need women's spaces so that we can start to figure
out what it means to be a powerful woman in this
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world and to know that other women have our backs
in this capacity all right number three never
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never compromise getting your needs met ever now
if you remember number one satisfaction is defined
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as the Fulfillment of your wishes and needs so
how can you be a satisfied woman oops over there
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if your needs are not being met this is one of the
biggest tricks of the current cultural Paradigm is
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that women's needs are not important that our role
as women is to serve the needs of others first
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somehow we've been taught from an early age
that that's what femininity is femininity is
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service femininity is subjugation femininity
is quietness femininity is to smile and look
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pretty and to just show up for everyone else it's
a big lie it's not true femininity is powerful it
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receives and our needs are critically important
if you are not getting your needs met as a human
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forget feminine masculine anything in between
if you are not getting needs met as a human
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you cannot be happy and experience Joy getting
your needs met in my research is perhaps the
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number one most important thing it's it's like
the substrate for everything else good in life
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if you have your core needs met then everything
else will fall into place or at least will more
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easily fall into place so never compromise your
needs ever even if that means and it's going to
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feel weird for those of us who have had so much
of our lives and so much training and subjugating
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ourselves prioritizing the needs of others perhaps
especially family members speaking up for yourself
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and prioritizing your own needs it's going to rock
the boat it's going to rock the boat people will
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be uncomfortable but wait mom always does this
for me she always does my laundry she always
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drives me to soccer practice but wait my wife
my relationship my primary partner she always
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has dinner or whatever it is waiting for me at
home I know those are old school tropes you know
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insert need subjugation here for your own life
okay whatever it is that you're doing that puts
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your needs second and someone else's first stop
just stop and I know it will be uncomfortable for
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you because you're used to doing it the other way
so okay one of the things that uh the femininity
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and women who are feminine are exceedingly good
at is being uncomfortable discomfort is what we
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first feel when our intuition says something
isn't right here when we don't listen to our
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intuition we are denying our most powerful
feminine gift so let yourself be uncomfortable
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let let everyone around you be uncomfortable for
a while it's okay okay ease into that by holding
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your ground and reclaiming your feminine power
and prioritizing your own needs so that those
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around you can prioritize them as well all right
number four take your time and I mean this in a
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slightly different way I don't mean relax and you
know go slow I mean a woman in this female body is
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is governed by time we don't have endless amounts
of it this is very different from a man in a man's
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body who doesn't have time markers like we do a
man can start a career at almost any age a man
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can have a child at almost any age we don't have
that luxury we have a Time marker at which we can
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have children and then a Time marker at which that
is no longer available to us every 28 days we have
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a Time marker of menstruation we have hormonal
shifts that determine times of the month where
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we are more receptive times of the month where we
are more organized and and charged and energetic
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times of the month where we need to relax time
is largely dictated By Us by our bodies so we
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need to take that time in the order that it is
given and in the order that it feels best to us
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one of the things that this current culture is um
telling us and again it's a masculine culture and
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the masculine is not dictated by time like the
feminine is is that we need to prioritize career
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and social advancement first now I can't tell you
how many women I know who have done that who have
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been fed that line and said okay that's what
success is that's what it means to be a woman
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and then they end up later in their life having
regretted not starting a family having children
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and they are now without that choice because
time is dictated for them and that choice is
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gone I don't care what the culture says if you
want to start a family start one if you want to
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have children have them in the time that is right
for you if you want to start a career later start
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it later if you want to start a career early start
it early honor your own time markers if any of the
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these choices are a priority for you no matter
what they are whether it's having children or not
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having a career or not I'm not telling you what
the choice is or what's right what I'm saying is
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that we as women are governed by time and we
need to listen to that so respect your time
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concerns and needs don't stay in a career too long
don't stay single so long if a relationship is a
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priority for you do what you want in your own time
now I write a lot more about this in my book The
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Way of the satisfied woman if you want to unpack
that a little further but let's get to number five
0:19:37.520,0:19:44.760
in reclaiming our feminine Power number five
is to Revere your feminine gifts particularly
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your intuition and emotions your intuition and
emotions is what make you most feminine this is
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the most highly prized feminine quality intuition
and emotions your full ability your full capacity
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to emote whether it's scary for others or not and
your intuition which tells you if things are right
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for you and if they're not you're going to feel
that sense of discomfort and it's time to course
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correct be ruthless in cutting out places people
spaces that don't prioritize these cherished
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feminine gifts for you prioritize them yourself
find the people around you who help you with that
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and that is how we will start to to create this
movement starting with you of satisfied women
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I urge you to listen to your femininity I urge
you to lean in to your femininity and I urge you
0:20:42.240,0:20:47.800
to reclaim your feminine power because when you
do not only do you benefit but so does everyone
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around you this is an uplifted World we're looking
for but it starts with you my fellow satisfied
0:20:54.640,0:21:01.400
woman so go for it let go of success in favor of
sucess satisfaction find people places and spaces
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that support your femininity never compromise
getting your needs met take your time to do what
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is most important to you and Revere your feminine
gifts and if you want more on how to walk the way
0:21:16.600,0:21:24.800
of the satisfied woman head over to my website
at thesatisfiedwoman.com. I'll see you there!
