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PH, I'm so excited to bring you this next mini series of podcasts where we're going to dive in deeply on sovereignty, success and, of course, satisfaction. I like packaging these mini series because it gives us time to explore more in depth a topic that's so important for us as modern day women. Last month was about our sacred no and really reclaiming our boundaries. This month, with sovereignty, success and satisfaction, we're going to talk about how we as women can own our own space in the world and create a place where we have an identity of our own outside of just being the career woman, the mother or someone else's partner. Now I created this particular series because I have had the great privilege of speaking to so many women recently who are crying out for this kind of energy in their lives. I've even had a woman sit across from me on a zoom call and say, Boy, oh boy. I would really love to have an identity where someone isn't just calling me mom. Now, of course, that doesn't negate the importance of mother. It doesn't negate the importance of any other facet of our lives, but it allows us to reclaim a sovereign, sacred personal ground where we allow our creativity and our abundance to flourish something that is ours personal, and this is so important for women, because, of course, we are the harbingers of creativity. Welcome to the satisfied woman podcast. I'm your host. Alanna Kaivalya. This podcast is dedicated to helping women lean into their femininity and rediscover the power of their feminine gifts. We take a look at what it means to be a modern woman and how we can live a satisfied life on our own terms. Visit the hub at the satisfied woman.com and of course, for all my podcast listeners, I have a special page just for you where you can go and get your free Starter Kit at the satisfied woman.com/empower, me now once again, welcome to the series. All about sovereignty, success and satisfaction. This first episode in our mini series for this month is the sovereignty shift, and I want to talk about why women are done waiting. This is an incredible time to be a woman now I know things are still a little challenging, complex and weird. I know that we are still not on entirely an equal playing field. I know that we're still getting our footing, but one of the things I reiterate often is that we as women now live in a time and place where we have more choice, more agency and more options than we ever did before. So even though still we're claiming our space and getting equal footing, it is certainly better, even than just a few years ago. My goodness, I remember the first time I started my first business back in 2015 and how challenging things were, even then, I remember being in New York City in high powered office buildings in the early 2000s being shoved into a corner and made to sign an agreement. Otherwise I would have lost my job. Now, even in my mother's time, she has had situations where she couldn't have control of her own finances, because up until 1974 a woman couldn't have her own bank account without a male co signer. So ladies listening, I know things are still challenging. I'm not here to water that down or gloss that over, but I want us to take the reins on the opportunities that are presenting themselves and show up for this potential that is happening for us right now, we are literally witnessing a global shift in women waking up to their dissatisfaction. Did you know that 70% of all divorces are now being initiated by the woman between the ages of about 40 and 55 I believe it's because these are the women who have spent most of their lives behind this disempowering narrative that we have to do everything for everyone else at all times and for ourselves. We have to do it better than everyone else does, and certainly we have to work so much harder, and we've bought into that. We've also bought into the narrative that we can do everything and also we should. So we've put on career hats, we've put on family hats, we've put on mother hats, and somewhere along the way, we've forgotten to wear a hat that is fully our own, that creates an identity outside of who we are for others or to others, and in our jobs, careers, whatever communities we exist in, instead of being named by the roles and the things that we give and continuing to give ourselves away in those roles, we've forgotten that we can actually be served by. Others, that we standing in our sovereignty and our empowerment, create a sacred, safe and incredible space for others to show up too, that others can participate with us, that others can give to us, that we can be the receivers. Now you've probably heard me name that one of the great qualities of femininity is receptivity. And when we are truly in our sovereign space, we are receiving now, one of the things I write about in my book, The Way of the satisfied woman is it's in chapter nine. It's sort of the culmination piece to everything I write is this concept of reclaiming our Throne, reclaiming our queendom, settling in to the CRO to the throne and the space of the Queen. Now, if you'll remember, and I'm sure you will, we have recently had the world's longest reigning monarch, Queen Elizabeth from England, and I know that she died in recent years, but what a legacy she left. And if we're really going to define what being a queen is and what ruling over a queendom is, I think she's a great example for us to look at. She was always kind, she was always compassionate, she always showed up for her people, but they served her. She ruled clearly and without hesitation, and instead of trying to do everything herself, she, as Queen, allowed others to be empowered through service to her. Now, ladies, if that ain't sovereignty, I don't know what is, I'll hail Queen Elizabeth for that trend setting vibe for us as women, as ladies, to remember that even as she was in charge, she never stooped down to what was beneath her. And I don't mean that in a hierarchical sense. I have no doubt that when things got nitty gritty with her kids, Queen Elizabeth was probably cleaning up the puke and the snot too. Okay, we all gotta do what we all gotta do. And I'm not suggesting it in that way. What I meant was she wasn't giving her energy in places that it wasn't being given back to her. She wasn't giving herself away. She wasn't playing the martyr. She wasn't overdoing over giving and over stressing. Now, of course, I take this in a mythological sense, because I didn't know the Queen personally, and perhaps that's not the case at all, but that's certainly how we witnessed it in the world, and that's certainly my takeaway from her long reigning legacy. Now, sovereignty is a place where you stand, a place where you command, a place that is yours. Now we may think of rulership as being masculine, but it isn't necessarily. It's more the way that we rule. A king will rule over his kingdom in a different way. A good king serves his people. A good queen is served by her people. And I like to think of our incredible mythological, historical queenly figures, figures like ISIS from the Egyptian pantheon, who sat in her throne. And even her hieroglyph is the image of that throne, her seat, that she was so confident and so rooted, so grounded in her queenly nature, that all she had to do was sit in her throne, and people just knew what she was about, who she was, and they would flock to her. They would come to serve her. I think about Hathor, another Egyptian goddess. In fact, she's my favorite, if I'm honest, who was acquainted her own right. In terms of having her high priestess hood, she had a mystery school where women came to learn the great mysteries from her now, back in the day, by the way, mysteries didn't mean unknown. Mysteries meant the practices and rituals that we did to get connected with our higher selves, our more spiritual selves, our more mystical selves, those are the mysteries. And she held that wisdom in such a way that it was made sacred by all those who came to study with her. This is what it means to be queen, my friends. Now you can be queen in your own lives, in your own families, in your own communities. Because, let me tell you what's not queenly. You know, things that pull us out of that sovereignty is any space where we end up being a martyr, where we over give, or whether we try to portray ourselves as perfect. Now I know that perfectionism is not a gift. It's a curse. None of us is perfect, but there's something about being a woman where we know and understand that the more pleasing we can be,
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the less we will be discarded, the more likable we can be, the more smiles we put on. Oh, you're so pretty when you smile. You know, I listen to different. Documentaries, and interestingly, the men are always named in terms of what they do, and the women are always named in terms of who they're married to. As long as we're pleasing, we'll belong. As long as we're perfect, don't make a fuss, don't ruffle the feathers. Aren't too emotional, Don't ask for too much. We won't be discarded. We will belong. So that is a delicate thread to hold, but that is also a imperative truth that we unravel, an imperative narrative, that we unravel a belief system that no longer serves us. In fact, women are meant to shout from the rooftops, to question truths, to change the way things are, and to always make sure that those who she loves are cared for in the process. A martyrdom is not a queendom. A martyrdom is one in which the leader or supposed leader is actually giving themselves away. If you felt that, if you felt that you've been over giving doing everything for everyone else with no real return, then unfortunately, my friend, you have been participating in that martyrdom, and it is time to stop. We as women are the emotional regulators of our family units and our immediate spaces. That's just a gift. It's a part of being a feminine woman. It's a gift that we have, but people tend to over rely on us for that and forget the counterpart of that as being emotional support and safety for us. So as we help and do the emotional labor of regulating those around us, the least they can do is help to be steady presences for us. Moving forward. You know, I hope you're taking a breath with me as you listen to this, because this world was not built for us as women, which is why it's so important that we make our own place in it, something outside of all of those other identities that have us serving others, a place where we can be served. I had a woman say to me this week in a call. In fact, this is a direct quote. She said, I just want a place in the world that is my own, where I can feel my value again. Amen, sister, because so much of the world is not going to declare our value, and our culture has declared femininity as invaluable in many respects, but at the very least less valuable. So it's time to reclaim our power. It's time to reclaim our feminine space. Because women, let's be honest, we're at our breaking points. We are tired of over caregiving. We are tired of living in shame for thinking that we're too much. We're tired of being exhausted and we want more, not more to do, not more to prove ourselves worthy of we just want more. In fact, I think that's one of the most powerful statements of the feminine is more. We're always looking for, more and more experiences, more truth, more love, more connection, more belonging. And trust me when I say that we all deserve this now I again, I mentioned at the beginning that I have the great fortune of speaking to many women every week on these discovery calls that I do, where I invite you to join me for 45 minutes or so to just tell me what's going on. You've been carrying so much for too long, and I'd like to help lift the load for you. Because what I witness women doing in these discovery calls is they're reaching out. They're asking for help. They're tired of disappearing into roles that don't suit them. They're fearful of naming what they truly do desire. Now, what I'll name for you now is that you're not broken. You are not too much. The system is broken, and the system isn't allowing us enough. So what we're discovering, what we're entering now is a threshold, a change moment, right? It's a flexion point, a pivot, not a collapse. We're not suddenly giving up and saying, Wow, I'm not going to hold all the things anymore. Bye. We're going to say, You know what I'll hold, what is mine and what is appropriate for me, and also create a space that is my own, that you can come visit, that you can serve me in. So the sovereign path, the one that I want us all on this month, or at the very least exploring the value of is that we get to rule over our own state. Right? The Sovereign rules over her own body, her own body politic. Now I mean that in the very visceral way that it was originally encoded when we are sovereign, when we are queenly, we are ruling over our physical bodies. We're ruling over our emotional bodies, only giving as much emotional labor as we have capacity for only. Our bodies in ways that give us pleasure back. We're ruling over our own state of mind and not donating our labor and time and expertise in ways that we're not properly compensated. We're sovereign rulers over our own psyche and not letting anyone cross those boundaries in ways that do harm. And perhaps most importantly, and at the root of all of this, is that we're sovereign over our own decisions. You see, when the Queen says something, it goes it doesn't get questioned. It doesn't get second guessed. Now, whether you're doing that to yourself or you're allowing others to do it for you, for the queen, it stops here. The other thing about a queen is that she's the ruler over her own independent state. And I don't mean independence as in like she's isolated. No, no. As women, we want connection. We want to thrive with others. We want that empathic sense of belonging. It means an inward dependence. She knows who she is, and she knows that when her emotions and her intuition speaks that that is the most potent and powerful, powerful decision maker she has, and she listens. So it's an independent ruler, a ruler inward, sovereign governance over exactly who you are and exactly what you deserve and exactly the space that you occupy in this place. So if this is interesting, and if the idea of being a sovereign, independent leader of your own queendom, carving out your own space for yourself, dropping the things that no longer need to be carried, reflecting on the last month's series and remembering your sacred No, remembering what your heart desires, honoring your Yes, really following your intuition and your emotion and being on your own two feet, knowing who you are. If this is interesting to you, then this is your call for sovereignty. This is the time that you get to decide what it is that you want to do with this one true, beautiful life that you have, because you know life has no meaning except that which we bring to it. So when you're ready to bring some deep meaning to your life, because you got these inner gifts that are building up within you, then let's let them out. So this series will continue to discover this concept. But if it's something that you're itching to bring forward now, then I deeply hope that you'll jump on a discovery call with me, and it's easy to do. Just navigate yourself to the satisfied woman.com/coaching-book-call
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so it's coaching book call with little hyphens in between the satisfied woman.com/coaching-book-call, or just go to my website and right at the top and the nav, you've got some options for how to work with me. You'll find the link to book a call there, and I look forward to speaking with you. There's something really powerful, and I'm so grateful about being able to do this work because I brought it forward for women to connect, and I'm able to do this work better and bring it to you more powerfully when I get to hear what you're carrying and help you release some of that load so that you can stand in your own sovereign, satisfied power
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As the most
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feminine and empowered woman in the room. Look, I want you to reclaim that for yourself, and I'm here to walk you through the steps. So next week, we'll explore more about how to feel safe receiving. We've talked about how to create your sovereignty, how to stand in your power, and that, yes, your vassals will serve you when they know who you are, but I want you to feel safe in that reception, so that'll be next week's episode, and I so look forward to bringing it to you. Until then, I hope that you'll stay in touch with me at the satisfiedwoman.com and make sure that you join my incredible growing online membership so that you can talk real time with other women who are looking to be sovereign just like you. You.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
