Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 0:00
Every woman needs a business. I don't mean that every woman needs a corporate career, and I don't think every woman needs to become a millionaire. I definitely don't think every woman needs to quit her job, but I do believe that every woman needs her own business, not because business is glamorous, and not because it's trendy, not because your friend next door started one, or you think you should, but because every woman deserves an income stream that she controls. Welcome to the Satisfied Woman podcast. I'm your host, Alanna Kaivalya. This podcast is dedicated to helping women lean into their femininity and rediscover the power of their feminine gifts. We take a look at what it means to be a modern woman and how we can live a satisfied and sovereign life on our own terms, visit the hub at the satisfied woman.com and when you head over to my website, the satisfied woman.com you can very easily book a call with me to talk about exactly how I can help you build a business that creates the income and sovereignty that you and truly every woman deserves. Now, this might sound overwhelming. Perhaps you're listening to this podcast, or you've been on this journey with me and my podcast. There's a lot. If you haven't listened to past podcasts, make sure you catch up. There's a lot here. I've been talking about women and women's satisfaction now for a long time, and of course I also wrote the book The Way of the Satisfied Woman. Now I've had a, you know, a long string of working with women, coaching women, helping women build their businesses for the last 10 plus years. I've been studying femininity, women's empowerment, psychology, and all of our belief systems that we are raised with and that we are essentially trained by in this crazy culture that we live in and helping women unpack that in order to really reclaim or even for the first time claim this incredible power agency and choice that we have in these modern day times that really haven't existed for women before. I would even say that they didn't exist for women five years ago in the way that they do now, 10 years ago, 1220, years ago. So we're living in a brand new time. Speaking as a cowgirl, it's like the wild wild west out here, so my role, my goal, my passion, my purpose is to help you as a woman reclaim your femininity in order to live a satisfied and sovereign life on your own terms. And now, as I've been doing this work with women for years, what I've come to realize what I know inside the core of my being is that one of the greatest inflection points that we have right now is the opportunity to make money, because it gives us choice, you see, for too long, in fact, for all of history, as you and I certainly have known it. Women were dependent on someone else. That's how society has structured it. That's how we've lived. It's nobody's fault. This isn't the blame game. It's just where we've ended up now, and our role now is to unpack and to have the choice to decide how to move forward, because for most of human history women were dependent on someone else, whether it was a father, a husband, an employer, or a government. For most of human history, someone else has controlled access to resources for women, and today too many women believe they're they're independent because they have jobs, right? But jobs are still permission-based income. Now, I don't disagree with jobs, I'm not really against jobs. I love jobs. You may love the job that you have, but even in a job, someone else still decides whether or not you get hired, whether or not you get promoted, whether or not you get laid off, and even what you are worth inside of that job. And even still today, women earn 80 cents to every dollar that a man in that same position would make, there is still a gap, still an uphill battle, still right from the moment you walk in the door, the expectation that you will automatically work at least 20% harder to earn what is your rightful 100% And that is not sovereignty, that's just participation, but having your own business is different, because a woman, a business rather allows a woman to create value directly and be compensated directly. This is why when I work with my women, my clients, one on one, I coach them to create sovereign businesses of their own. It means you earn 100% of the income that comes your way. You don't share it with anybody else. No one else dictates the terms. It is all yours, and that kind of sovereignty creates the power of choice and choice creates freedom, because here's the other truth that we need to really understand and wrestle with as we're coming to terms, and if you haven't listened to at least the last two podcasts, make sure you do. I'm talking more about the power of money for women, why it's critical, why women need money, how women make money, and how that is actually different from the way that men make money, and in this podcast I'm talking about why businesses for women are so critical and necessary, even different and beyond jobs or equality in the workplace, when it comes to men versus women, this is just about your sovereignty, your freedom, and your choice. Because women's lives, they don't follow a linear timeline as we know it. The workplace was designed around masculine patterns and parameters, the generalized workplace values consistent and ever increasing output. It's almost like the he who works harder is more noticed and more recognized. The workplace values a linear progression, just keep going, going, going, and there really is no stop, and of course it values uninterrupted availability, but women's lives are rarely linear. If you think about it, even just based on our biology, our bodies and our lives don't work that way. We experience big fluctuations, we have relationships, we have pregnancy, children, caregiving events in our lives, health changes, menopause, personal transformation that will naturally and rightfully get in the way of the traditional masculine workplace and business model. What I want you to understand is that that model was not built with us in mind or for our benefit. Yeah, we're doing a kick-ass job doing our best to participate in it, and there are many times and circumstances under which we may actually love it and enjoy it, but it wasn't built with us in mind, and so when we hit that wall, when we reach burnout, when we want to dial it back, when we want to shift out for a while, when we want to enjoy raising our children, when we want to opt out for a time to take care of ourselves, because that's natural and instinctual for who we are. That is not built into the model, and we are not rewarded for that. We are not rewarded for that. Women have been behind, either by design or by circumstance, in this particular model, and either way, it's time to change the game again with all of the study and work that I've done over the last many years, in terms of modern women, how we become satisfied and sovereign in our lives, how we reclaim our femininity, how we lean into our womanhood. One of the biggest inflection points is money, and it's not about the money, it's about the choice that money creates for us in this world that we live in now. Your own business gives you the flexibility of that choice. Your own business gives you the flexibility to live life on your terms as you deserve, not as dictated by others, not as dictated by societal constraints, or those pesky shoulds, should nots that we've grown up and lived with all this time. You see, your own business can expand and contract with your life, because your life as a woman has movement, it is circular, it is unpredictable, and your life needs to honor that, not the other way around. When we try to move ourselves like a square. Peg into a round hole into this masculine paradigm, we can thrive for a while, of course, we can succeed, women can do anything, but there's going to be a breaking point, a moment we reach that, that, that burnout, or that wall that we can't push past, and if we do, it is to our detriment, because your own business creates choice, because money isn't the goal. Don't get me wrong, right? When I work with women to build their own businesses, I'm not advocating to continue to kick ass on a man's terms or with that masculine model. In fact, I teach women to build businesses differently, you know? I did that. I did that model. I built a seven figure business with my own unending, relentless, masculine toil, and I can't tell you the psychological, physical, mental health detriment that it caused. It did. I lived it, and from all external benchmarks, I certainly was successful, but internally I knew something was wrong. I know what that kind of hustle does to a woman long term. I understand how it isn't in honor of who we are, and because we live in a time with the more power, choice, and agency than we've ever had, why wouldn't we live now in honor of who we are, so money isn't the goal. Okay, choice is the goal. Choice is the goal, because a woman with choices can leave unhealthy situations, whether it be a relationship or a career or a or a place that she's living, she can negotiate better relationships, better deals, better partnerships. She can actually take time off, not only when she wants to, but when she needs to. A woman with choice can care for her family without guilt or shame, or feeling like she's missing out on other things she can relocate, she can reinvent herself. Having your own business isn't about becoming rich, it's about becoming free. Women don't need money, because money is inherently important, women need money, because money creates choice, and choice is one of the most important and fundamental ingredients of feminine satisfaction, not because we're demanding, not because we need endless options. In fact, that is overwhelming, but because genuine desire, that incredible feminine principle of pleasure and desire, can only exist when there is genuine and authentic choice. Think about it, if you stay in a relationship because you can't afford to leave or because you're afraid financial collapse will happen, that's not really a choice. You're there under obligation. You stay in a job because you feel like you have no alternatives, that's not a choice. You're staying because of fear. If you say yes to something because you're afraid of the consequences of saying no, that's not a choice either. And frankly, the other people in the party, they know that, and they either know that unconsciously, where they just simply live it, and they don't worry about your freedom or your choice, or they know it consciously, and they use that for manipulation and control. When you say yes, when you over give, when you overwork, when you stay too long in a situation because you're afraid of the consequences of saying no, that is not choice, that is not agency, that is not sovereignty, and I guarantee you that is not satisfaction. You see, the feminine thrives with desire. She thrives when she's free to feel pleasure. The feminine thrives in receptivity, when she is given, when it is attracted to her, when she magnetizes the support. support abundance relationships, everything she needs. The feminine thrives in discernment. I talk about how women are truth seekers. The feminine is truth seeking, it wants to know what's true, not just out there, but. What is actually true for her, and she wants to choose it, but that level of discernment and truth requires options. A woman cannot truly and authentically say yes to anything, job, career, relationships, anything until she has the fully empowered ability to say no. This is why financial sovereignty matters, not because money is the goal, because choice is the goal, because when a woman has choices, she can finally make decisions based on what she actually wants, instead of what she needs to survive. She can make choices based on her authentic desires instead of based on fear of being left out or discarded. A woman needs choice, because through all of the times that your body or you might say no, choice is what will lead you to your most empowered and embodied yes, and that yes is where a woman's glory, where her empowerment, where her sovereignty, and her satisfaction truly lives. Choice is the clincher here, and choice doesn't happen when you're backed into a corner. Choice doesn't happen when you feel like you have no choice. Choice doesn't happen when other people are calling the shots, signing the paychecks, behind signing the paychecks, locking the doors. Choice happens when you're empowered, when you are free to choose, and right now in this world that we live in, money really is at the core of that. It is the inflection point. It is one of the turning keys we need in order to unlock the door to satisfaction, and you living your satisfied life is exactly why I'm here now. By the way, if you have not yet listened to podcast number 25 that is probably the most required podcast, so I'm assigning that as homework. If you haven't, that is where I go through one of my most fundamental practices I use with the women that I work with, and that's empowering and finding your sacred now, reconnecting to your intuition. So many women who have lived without choice for so long, who have been backed into the corners, who have felt powerless, who don't understand how to get that choice back, are so disconnected from their intuition and their sacred know that they'll never discover their yes. Your business lives in your yes. Your business is your contribution to the world beyond your family, beyond your simple just day to day existence. And every person on this planet needs that kind of purpose, needs that kind of legacy, needs that kind of sovereignty, and perhaps women even more so. I'll never forget the moment I spoke with a beloved client who, while she was navigating a very difficult relationship in which she felt like she didn't have the choice to leave, when she had her kids swirling around her because her partner was not available to help with any of the caretaking, she looked at me through tears, and she said, Alanna, she said, all I want is my own little patch of grass that I can call my own, that is your business, that is your sovereignty, that is your magic, that is your, your individuation, your impact on this planet, that is how you give your magic and your gifts back, and when you have the empowerment and the ability, and by the way, the systems, the website, the structure to do it, which is something that my team and I build for you when we discover what your magic is, that's where you get choice back, because the best businesses, truly for you as a woman, are built around feminine strengths. You see, we've really only been taught one business model, because that's the only business model that has been in, like, practice for 1000s of years. We've never really thought to question it. Well, guess what? There is another way. That old standard business model was built on masculine ideals and parameters, and it wasn't built with us. In mind, and it wasn't built with our benefit in mind. So, women have been taught to build businesses like men. I see this all the time. Look, yes, I'm an online coach, specifically for women, and specifically to help you build a satisfied and sovereign life. But as I'm in this world, looking around, I see so many other women coaches in this world still living and working and operating on that masculine paradigm of push harder, grow bigger, get past that seven figure mark, get past that eight figure mark, you know, hire the team, outsource the decisions, diversify, you know what, blah blah blah, that's not where your happiness lives, that's just where more hustle lives, right? So, women have been taught to build businesses like men, hustle harder, work longer, scale faster. I did it, but most women, we don't need another system that demands constant performance. Our lives are hard enough. Instead, the strongest businesses truly are built around our wisdom, our lived experience, our intuition, our feminine leadership, our ability to teach, create, and transform those that we work with, in 10 years of working with women this way, I continue to do this, and I have become so passionate about it, because I know that when I work with a one on one client, when I help her find her magic and monetize it through building a business for her and helping her launch it, I know. Then she is going to impact other women. Women aren't out here selling widgets, you know. We're out here changing lives. Every woman, almost every woman I speak to, when I'm ready to take her on as a client, and I say, you know what? What do you like to do? What do people naturally come to you for already that you're not getting paid for. Well, you know, my girlfriends are always asking for advice on this, or I see my friends struggling with this problem, and I know how to solve it, because I've been there. Guys, we are at the leading edge. We are at the leading wave of women being able to take back their power and their agency in this way. I don't know that we would have been able to begin this and start this wave five years ago. I don't know that we've been able to do it 10 years ago. We wouldn't have been able to do it 20 years ago. Now that's not to say that there hasn't been powerful women before now exerting their agency beyond all you know possibilities in order to do amazing things in the world, of course. There have you know, I referenced Mary Kay, actually, a lot, the originator of the pink Cadillac and multi-level marketing, at a time where she dreamed of giving women the power of business. I think that was brilliant, and she did it against all odds, you know, but those are few and far between. If you look at the long list of men who have been successful in business, I mean statistically there are more CEOs of big businesses named Ralph than there are female CEOs. Ladies, we're at the leading edge here. We're at the front end of the wave, and if we don't do it, if we don't reclaim our power and agency now with our own businesses, with our own sovereignty, with our own choice, then the our sisters, our daughters, they won't know how to do it right, because there are things that you've already spent your life developing, things you're already an expert on that you're doing for free, because the future, really our future that we're building right now, belongs to women who own something, and you own your expertise, you own your magic, you own your audience, your platform, you own your intellectual property. You need to own your income stream. The future is uncertain. We don't know how the relationship will go. We don't know how our family situation will turn out. We would like to think that the partners and the people that we choose to be in our lives will be there until the end. Sometimes they are, but if they aren't, we never want to be left without choice. The women who thrive in this future won't necessarily be the ones with the most credentials. It doesn't take that they'll be the women who know how to create value and bring it directly into the world through their own means, through their own platform, through their own system. So the goal here isn't to. Become the most credentialed eight figure CEOed working like a dog businesswoman with a team of 900,000 The goal isn't to hustle more. The goal isn't to scale as fast as possible. The goal isn't to keep up with the Joneses or anyone else, the goal is to become a woman who has options, because when a woman has options, she can finally make decisions based on her desire, based on her authentic truth, based on what satisfies her, instead of survival, instead of people pleasing, instead of doing what she thinks she should do, instead of fear that she won't be included, but will be discarded. When a woman has options and choice, she has sovereignty, she has agency, she's living her most authentic life, and then she chooses wholeheartedly, she discerns, she decides, and isn't that precisely what makes women more abundant, more magnetic, more satisfied, and sovereign over all. This is the kind of thing that when you build it, it spirals upward in your favor, because now your yes, your agency, your choice, your gifts mean something. They have value, because when you stay in even though you can leave. Your commitment has weight when you can support yourself, but still choose partnership. Your love has weight. The feminine isn't meant to be powerless in her world; she's meant to be filled with agency and sovereign in her world, because that sovereignty, my, my friend, my dear friend, as I tell my clients all the time, that turns you into the queen, right? And the queen is the goal, your queendom, your ability to sit on that patch of grass that is yours and choose it fully, because it is created from your magic, you own it. No one can take it from you, and you get to choose it fully. That's where your pleasure and your satisfaction live and thrive. And I would be honored to help you create that. You can do it, I know you can. I've watched women do it for the past 10 plus years, and I'd love to help you. So, when you're ready, head over to the Satisfied woman.com and book a call with me. Let's talk. Let's talk about where you feel you have no choice, or your choice has been taken away. Let's talk about where you feel you're living in authentically, or not offering your gifts in a way that you know you can. Let's talk about how you're being devalued and where we can increase not only your intrinsic and perceived value, but your literal bottom line. This is important, and I love having these conversations. So, head over to the Satisfied woman.com book a call with me. I look forward to talking with you and seeing what kind of magic you have that we can monetize to create your most sovereign and satisfied life.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
