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Welcome to this second episode in my
minieries on sovereignty, success,
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and satisfaction. Every month, I pick a
theme and go through it each week on this
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podcast. And if you missed the first episode
in this little series, I definitely recommend
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you go back and listen. But if you're ready to
roll along right here with me, that's perfect,
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too, because this particular episode is all about
receptivity. So maybe you're here because this is
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exactly what you are meant to receive. Welcome
to the Satisfied Woman podcast. I'm your host,
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Alanna Kaivalya. This podcast is dedicated to helping women lean into their femininity and rediscover
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the power of their feminine gifts. We take a look
at what it means to be a modern woman and how we
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can live a satisfied life on our own terms. Visit
the hub at the satisfiedwoman.com. And of course,
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don't forget for my podcast listeners,
I have that special page for you, the
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satisfiedwoman.com/mpowerme where you can get the
starter kit for free to set you on your satisfied
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path right away. Guys, I mean business. I am
serious about this stuff. Satisfaction for women
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is paramount, especially in our modern day age.
And in the last podcast, I not noted that look,
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you know, things aren't perfect. We are still
searching for an equal footing in this culture,
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in this world. But we right now have more power,
agency, and choice than we ever have before. And
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I write about a lot of this in my book, The Way
of the Satisfied Woman. So, if you haven't picked
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that up yet, make sure that you do. And chapter 9
focuses on us really settling into the throne as
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queen. As queens of our queendom, we stand firmly
in our space. And that is where we receive. Now,
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um, if you're watching this on YouTube with
me, you'll see my hands creating kind of a
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bowl shape. And essentially, that's what I use to
demonstrate the receiverhip of the feminine. The
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feminine is meant to receive. Now, I really want
that to sink in because we have been fed a load of
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nonsense by our patriarchal culture that says that
a woman's greatest value is in how much she gives.
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and how much we deplete ourselves and how much
we overgive and give ourselves away. And we're
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trained to understand that we won't be included.
We will be discarded if suddenly we can no longer
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give of ourselves. And look, you know, many
women that I know are generous with their time,
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their gifts, their energy. I think a lot of us
turn to service positions as careers because
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we love the idea of giving. But the giving can't
happen from a feminine perspective unless we truly
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are rooted in our own sovereign space to receive
and that we have the option to choose exactly
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when and where we might offer or give ourselves.
Now this is really important because if we don't
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have choice in where we offer our gifts, where we
give ourselves away, if we don't have that choice,
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then things are taken from us. And historically
that has also included forcibly taken. When we
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don't have a choice in how we give ourselves away,
then we are ravaged as opposed to ravished. And
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what lady wouldn't like to be ravished. I know I
do. I know I'm one. I'm signing up for that. So
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being ravished means we are the receivers. We
are receptacles. And look, just to get really
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nitty-gritty about it, think about the actual
feminine anatomy. the anatomy of a woman's body,
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the ones with the vaginas, the uteruses, that
literal receiving place of taking in so that
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we can be creative. The biological purpose of a
vagina and a uterus is to create life. Now, some
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of us are mothers, some of us are not. Some of us
choose to be, some of us choose not. Whether we
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are or are not mothers in this lifetime, whether
that's been part of our path or not, for whatever
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reason, this biology is also a huge underlying
part of our psychology. Femininity means that we
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are creative. We are literally bringing things
to life where there was almost nothing before.
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And for us to stand in that creative space, we
do need to receive. We need to be receptive to
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the energy that comes toward us, we need to be
served in that energy. So for more on that idea
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of sovereignty and queendom, definitely listen to
the episode just before this. But let's continue
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on with receiving because receiving is hard for
those of us who have grown up in this particular
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culture where the narrative has been your greatest
value lies in how much you give yourself away.
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to make that shift of, wow, I can just stand
in my power and receive can be a little scary
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because what happens when you stop doing
and overgiving and really offering every
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bit of yourself to the last drop to the point
of overwhelm and burnout, the people around you
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who are used to you giving yourself away like
that, they're going to be surprised. There's
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definitely going to be a reckoning and there
will be a shift. Now, there are ways to manage
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that surprise and that shift. There are ways
to hopefully elevate their experience into one
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of masculine providership for you or even feminine
companionship and contributorship to you. But what
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we can't do is collapse back into overgiving,
overdoing, and of course, by proxy overwhelm.
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So, here's the way I like to encourage this
idea of receiverhip because when I, you know,
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I do a lot of one-on-one coaching with women
around this idea. I coach women primarily in
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relationship and in uh business, creating
their own sovereign businesses. This seems
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to be where women are calling for the
most help and support these days. Also,
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because this is where women find the greatest
collapse is in their intimate relationships
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with the masculine partner and in their careers
or business where they're just not being served,
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where they're giving themselves away and not
pro not feeling a sense of contribution that
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is truly theirs. They don't feel creative or
alive. They're working in a masculine capacity
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as opposed to receiving in a feminine capacity and
drawing in energy and abundance and support. So,
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it's a huge shift to create a feminine business
for oneself where we can stand in our sovereign
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place and receive the support we need. The way
that I like to frame it is actually based on the
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laws of physics. Now, back in my undergrad, I did
study physics and there is a principle of physics
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that the universe hates a vacuum. Then essentially
anywhere there is space in the universe and you
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can imagine there's a lot of space all of the
molecules will fill that space equally. So if
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there is one part of space that has slightly less
density of molecules the molecules will literally
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rush in to organize themselves in that space.
So think of yourself as the feminine receiver,
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literal receiver with your physical body, but
even an emotional um psychological receptivity,
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an abundance receptivity that you need to create
that vacuum. And holding that vacuum open is
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your job. Holding that invitation open for those
around you to rise into that space is your job.
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So that's really where your only work needs to
be done. And I know that it's difficult work,
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especially if you yourself are used to rushing
in to fill that space. You know, if you normally,
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let's say, pick up the socks off the floor and
you decide that today's the day I am not rushing
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in to fill that space and pick up the socks. I'm
going to leave them there. There's going to be
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some tension that you feel when the socks start to
pile up. you know, it will get into your control
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self. Now, I I I know that's a surprise. I've
had many um coaching clients when I say, "Oh,
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no, stop controlling things." They say, "No,
control is a mean thing. It's a bad thing." No,
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control for women is sometimes what keeps us
safe in a space um psychologically, emotionally,
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you know, it makes us feel wanted and needed to
some extent. But let go of that. Let someone else
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take care of it. We can start with things as
simple as socks. Sometimes doing the low lift
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items first. Gradually clues people around you in
to the fact that you are now going to be holding
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your sovereignty. You are now going to be on the
receiving end of life and invite them to rise up
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to meet you. So the socks might might pile up,
but you'll keep calm. You'll settle the energy.
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you'll know that this is not yours to do.
You are going to put down what is no longer
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yours. As women, we carry far too much.
We carry far too much of what isn't ours,
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and we can be done. I I give you full permission
to simply be done with carrying with what isn't
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yours. Now, what is yours, feel free to
carry. It's going to be a much lighter load,
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much more possible. You can control that if
you want to, I guess, but try not to step
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into a space where you're just filling
that vacuum that needs to be there. So,
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I love to frame these vacuum setting experiences
with a request first, right? It's not that just
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one day we're no longer picking up the socks.
We're calling people in with our words. Women tend
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to be incredible communicators and connectors with
their language. So, here's how the request goes.
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It would make me feel and you can insert
whatever your feeling tone is. Cherished, loved,
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appreciated, um you know, a beloved member of this
family. Whatever you want to name, name a feeling
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though. It's very important to name a feeling
because we as the feminine are really governed
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by our emotions and our intuition and that's right
and true and good. So, it would make me feel loved
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and cherished if you would pick up the socks.
the one simple action and particularly if you're
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talking to a masculine counterpart or a masculine
person in your family that's really going to
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activate them, right? The masculine in its own
way loves to do things and accomplish things. The
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feminine in its own way loves to receive and feel
things. Not that we don't like to accomplish. We
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can obviously I get it. But just for now, let's
settle into the feminine. It would make me feel
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so loved and cherished if you would pick up the
socks. And then we stop talking. We even leave
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that space a vacuum. And we just we stop. There's
no argument. It's a simple request. We just leave
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that out into the air. Let the ether fill it with
whatever it will. And now this person is on notice
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that the socks are no longer our job. And when
the socks pile up, you self soothe around it.
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You take a bath. You order pizza. You go out for a
bike ride. whatever you want to do. It's not a big
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deal. Like the world sometimes I like to work with
my coaching clients and ask them, you know, what
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is the worst that could happen if the socks pile
up? And I know I'm I'm using the socks metaphor,
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but you can insert anything really in here. Oh,
you know, well, then they will have no socks. Say,
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yeah, that's right. They will have no socks and
then they will actually have to do the laundry.
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I mean, wouldn't that be amazing? And these are
just some consequences, some basic consequences
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of not picking up the socks, which are no longer
your job and frankly are not going to it's not
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going to ruin your day. So, it would make me feel
if you would do this task for me and then you just
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stop talking and then you're done. You just don't
do that task anymore. And if the task doesn't get
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done, you know what? Maybe it never needed to get
done. It was certainly never yours to do or maybe
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someone in will help step up to support you. So
this can be one way to encourage those around you
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to step into that role of providership. That's
the counterpoint to receiverhip. But this is how
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you hold that vacuum open. You need to in order
to receive. Now the way that you know that this
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is right for you, the way that you know that this
request is right for you and that it's no longer
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something that you need to carry is simple.
It's through your yes and no compass. So, in
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last month's podcast series, we went through this
and I did a sacred activation of yes or no. But
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the simple recap of that is that when you consider
something, your intuition and your emotional depth
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will speak loudly to you as a feminine woman.
It just will. So, when you think to yourself,
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you know, do I actually want or need to pick up
those socks? Do I actually want or need to work
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overtime? Do I actually want or need to get up
early to pick my partner up from the airport?
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Do I actually does this serve me? The no is going
to feel some version of bad, a crushing weight,
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a crushing pressure, a tightness in the throat.
Your inner yes, your intuitive yes will feel some
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version of good, whether it's a lightness in your
mind or a a sparkle in your chest or whatever it
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is. Now your job along with holding the tension
of that vacuum, holding that vacuum open,
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is not to then second guessess yourself and try to
talk yourself out of your sacred yes or no. Okay?
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We have been holding that masculine energy for so
long that we're used to our logical brains being
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the final decision makers. that no longer does
the masculine need to make our decisions for us,
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especially our own internal masculine.
We don't need to hold that anymore. So,
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when you have a clear yes and a clear no, you then
know what's right for you. You then know what to
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request and then begin to receive. Now, I see this
a lot actually in the women that I speak to every
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week on these discovery calls that I offer, which
is a place for women who are holding far too much
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to get on a call with me and we can chat it out
and I can help them release it or just let go or
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find out where exactly they could use additional
support. And one of the things I see over and over
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and over is we go through these conversations,
they become enlivened, they become invigorated
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with the prospect of finally going back to their
feminine nature, of holding open that vacuum,
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of no longer overgiving, of receiving the
support that they've always craved. And they
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give a fullbodied yes. And then suddenly, within
a few moments, or even just as the call ends,
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they once again collapse. And what that is is a
nervous system trauma response. We as women are
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used to being discarded if we don't overgive. We
are used to overworking ourselves. We are used to
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not having the support that we need. We are used
to carrying everything for everyone else. We're
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used to it. It's almost become a traumatic safe
space. So that when that shift starts to happen,
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the nervous system doesn't know how to regulate
around it. And so then I see collapse that a woman
0:15:49.680,0:15:54.880
who has just really lived in her power, given
full expression to her yes, said yes to support,
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said yes to no longer giving, suddenly goes,
"Oh my gosh, but I don't deserve it. Oh my gosh,
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but I can't afford that. Oh my gosh, everyone
around me is going to judge me. Oh my gosh,
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I can't I can't do this. I can't have my own
sovereign space. I can't stop overgiving as
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a mother, a partner, a wife, uh a lover, an
employee. And then you get that nervous system
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collapse. So when you feel that happen, my dear
sister, what I want you to know, ironically, it's
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that actually you're on the right track. You have
just discovered that there is a part of you that
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comes alive in your femininity. There is a part of
you that comes alive in receptivity and support.
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And then there is a dominant culture inculturated
hardened over masculineized part of you that wants
0:16:54.400,0:17:02.080
control and collapses around that support. The
overthinking, the talking yourself out of it,
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the giving 90 million excuses of why you can't,
shouldn't, don't deserve it. That is your history
0:17:10.080,0:17:16.400
talking and it's exactly the thing we need to
move out of in order to achieve satisfaction.
0:17:16.400,0:17:23.520
It's exactly the reason why you and every other
sister out there deserves receptivity and to
0:17:23.520,0:17:28.960
have her own sovereign space where she is served,
where she is abundant, where she is calling in the
0:17:28.960,0:17:33.600
prosperity that she needs, where she is calling
in the support that she needs, that safe space,
0:17:33.600,0:17:39.600
where her creative energy creates magic in
the world, and the world is better off for it.
0:17:39.600,0:17:44.480
Because you cannot create that magic in the world
if you don't have that sovereign place to stand.
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We cannot call in the abundance that we deserve
if we don't have our creative juices creating what
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it is that generates that abundance. Now, this is
not the law of magical thinking. I saw the secret
0:17:58.160,0:18:04.960
in 2007 too, guys. I was all about it. I loved
the idea of thinking my way to $1,000. Nope. No,
0:18:04.960,0:18:09.520
you cannot do that. You cannot think your way
to anything good. It has to be followed up with
0:18:09.520,0:18:15.920
action. It has to be followed through. I'm not
saying it's not going to be hard work to create
0:18:15.920,0:18:19.520
your own sovereign space. I'm not saying it's
going to be or I'm not saying that it's going to
0:18:19.520,0:18:25.440
be easy work to like, you know, restructure your
life in such a way that you finally stand in your
0:18:25.440,0:18:33.120
power as queen. Queen queen's work is hard. It
is holding that vacuum open. It is calling in the
0:18:33.120,0:18:38.240
service of others. It is holding them to their
highest account. And it is the creation of the
0:18:38.240,0:18:44.480
things that are worth your time and energy, not
of giving your time and energy away to the things
0:18:44.480,0:18:51.120
that aren't worth your clear value. Okay? That
is where we short change ourselves. When we give
0:18:51.120,0:18:58.400
ourselves away for less than the full dollar,
we are literally giving ourselves away. Now,
0:18:58.400,0:19:04.480
we have this power and this magic and this ability
and this choice and this agency right now in this
0:19:04.480,0:19:09.680
time in this world with all of the tools that
we have with the shifting social climate with a
0:19:09.680,0:19:16.320
greater realization of what femininity can do and
what women can be, we have this chance now. So,
0:19:16.320,0:19:21.280
for you to call in that full dollar of value, for
you to call in your worth, for you to call in the
0:19:21.280,0:19:26.960
people who are there to support you, you have to
stand in sovereignty and you have to be receptive.
0:19:28.560,0:19:34.240
Because I still see this too often. I still see
this too often where women are invited to rise
0:19:34.240,0:19:41.920
into their femininity and receive that support
and then they collapse. But not you. Not you.
0:19:41.920,0:19:50.480
Because we don't need to overthink it. We don't
need to be certain about how it's going to happen.
0:19:50.480,0:19:56.720
We just need to be certain about our yes and our
no. We need to be certain about what we do want to
0:19:56.720,0:20:04.800
receive. Money. Yes. I had a a lovely woman the
other day on a discovery call. And I asked her,
0:20:04.800,0:20:10.320
I said, "All right. How much every month
do you want to make?" And she just looked
0:20:10.320,0:20:16.560
at me stunned. And she took a moment. She took a
beat. She took a pause. And then she said, "Wow,
0:20:16.560,0:20:22.560
I'm so glad you asked me that." I said, "Yes,
me too. And I would like to know your answer."
0:20:22.560,0:20:29.120
And she said, 'Well, I don't I don't want to sound
selfish, but I I I'd like to make um you know,
0:20:29.120,0:20:34.800
$10,000. $10,000 a month would be good. And I
said, "Oh, girl, you are not selfish." Because
0:20:34.800,0:20:38.720
the kinds of things you're going to bring out
to the world in order to create that 10 grand a
0:20:38.720,0:20:45.120
month funnel is selfless and it will be worth so
much more because you are giving from your most
0:20:45.120,0:20:51.120
empowered place. But $10,000 a month is a great
place for you to start. This is how you call it
0:20:51.120,0:20:56.160
in. You deserve that and more. You call it in from
your place of power, your place of sovereignty,
0:20:56.160,0:21:02.080
your place of receptivity because you have now
the time and energy to create that magic in the
0:21:02.080,0:21:08.000
world that only you can provide. Not by giving
it, not by giving it away, not by being demanded
0:21:08.000,0:21:13.600
that you give it, not by being guilted that
you give it, not by feeling locked in to give
0:21:13.600,0:21:17.840
it because that's just what you've always been
doing. Not because the world has told you that
0:21:17.840,0:21:24.080
you're less valuable, but because someone
at the very least me has told you that you
0:21:24.080,0:21:33.280
are. I have the great privilege of
speaking with powerful, incredible,
0:21:33.280,0:21:39.920
smart, hypereducated women who balance
the unbelievably busy lives of career,
0:21:39.920,0:21:45.360
household, family, community, all of
it. They are working miracles every day.
0:21:46.880,0:21:53.200
It's these women who are stuck. It's these
women who are giving themselves away for
0:21:53.200,0:21:57.840
less than their worth. It's these women who
are begging to reclaim their sovereignty,
0:21:57.840,0:22:04.560
their little patch of grass in their life that is
theirs. And it's these women after they've given
0:22:04.560,0:22:10.640
a fullbodied yes that collapse. And I understand
that and I know you do too. That's why I name it.
0:22:10.640,0:22:15.120
But just as I give these women permission to
no longer collapse and to call in fully what is
0:22:15.120,0:22:19.920
theirs and when they feel that fully fullbodied
yes for support and sovereignty and success and
0:22:19.920,0:22:25.680
satisfaction that no matter what the roadblocks
they think exist ex you know are there that they
0:22:25.680,0:22:34.000
just say yes. I have had women and and I've even
done it myself you know say yes to something that
0:22:34.000,0:22:40.400
they know is right for them and then worry about
how they'll pay for it. Look, I know you've had
0:22:40.400,0:22:46.000
moments in your life, as have I didn't know when
the next money or paycheck was going to come next,
0:22:46.000,0:22:50.080
but we said yes anyway. Or we said yes to
something that we knew that we needed and
0:22:50.080,0:22:55.840
we borrowed the money. We found it. It arrived.
The first time I had to borrow money to hire a
0:22:55.840,0:23:02.560
coach for my business back in 2016, I was 5 months
behind on rent. And thank goodness I borrowed it.
0:23:02.560,0:23:08.480
Thank goodness I didn't pay the rent those months.
Thank goodness I bet on myself and my sovereignty
0:23:08.480,0:23:14.320
and my ability to receive and be abundant because
several months later I had turned that into a
0:23:14.320,0:23:21.040
$25,000 a month business. I don't say that to show
off and I don't embellish it either. I actually
0:23:21.040,0:23:26.400
just to check that story I looked back through
for my financial records in that year. Um and
0:23:26.400,0:23:34.320
honestly it's even better than I thought. But it
happened because I said yes to my gifts, myself,
0:23:34.320,0:23:42.960
and I said no to one more day of staying in that
cycle of scarcity and lack. I said no to staying
0:23:42.960,0:23:49.200
one more day in that cycle of fear, devaluation,
and oppression. And I knew it was going to be a
0:23:49.200,0:23:54.080
hard slog for the next few months with still
some more scarcity and lack. And it was. But
0:23:54.080,0:24:00.000
it was the only thing that was going to get me out
of that because I didn't want to do it anymore and
0:24:00.000,0:24:05.040
I don't want any of you to do it anymore. And
whether it's financial, whether it's familial,
0:24:05.040,0:24:10.320
whether it's relational, in whatever way this is
most meaningful for you, I want sovereignty and
0:24:10.320,0:24:15.040
success for you. I want receptivity and abundance
for you because it is yours. Because you are a
0:24:15.040,0:24:22.720
powerful feminine woman and you deserve every
inch of what you call in. And that is not selfish.
0:24:22.720,0:24:27.920
that is selfless because to call that kind of
thing into you, imagine what you've done for the
0:24:27.920,0:24:34.400
world. So if you feel like you're carrying far
more than what is yours, if you're interested
0:24:34.400,0:24:40.720
in creating a a little sliver of grass, a patch
that's yours, that is your own that is sovereign,
0:24:40.720,0:24:46.240
let's chat, book a discovery call with me. I'd
love to hear what you have to say and what's going
0:24:46.240,0:24:51.600
on for you. You can navigate it from my website,
the satisfiedwoman.com. It's easy to find. At
0:24:51.600,0:24:56.320
the top there's a navigation bar that will say
work with me or you can go right to it at the
0:24:56.320,0:25:03.600
satisfiedwoman.com/coaching-book-all.
Coachingbook call hyphenated in between. The
0:25:03.600,0:25:09.920
satisfiedwoman.com/coaching-book-all. Look,
either way you find me, I hope that you come
0:25:09.920,0:25:15.040
find me and participate with me and maybe even
in my growing membership of satisfied women.
0:25:15.040,0:25:18.560
It's the rooted membership and every
month I provide even deeper wisdom
0:25:18.560,0:25:22.080
like this. A monthly workshop to call
you into your highest sovereignty and
0:25:22.080,0:25:27.520
satisfaction and a place to have Q&A with
me and intimate coaching, hot seat circles,
0:25:27.520,0:25:31.840
all the good stuff that women like you and
I love. So, however you join me, I hope that
0:25:31.840,0:25:37.200
you will. And in whatever way you walk your
path towards satisfaction, stay on it, sister.
