Topics covered in this teaching:

• How being the woman who handles everything leaves your own needs unanswered.
• The good-girl expectations that follow women into adulthood.
• The difference between chasing approval and receiving support.
• Why boundaries and a clear no make room for what you want.
• A guided exercise to recognize your yes and your no.
• Listening to your intuition and asking for help.

Read the related guide to why receiving feels hard

For the guided exercise, choose a place where you can sit comfortably and give it your attention.

Recorded April 2, 2025. The recording mentions earlier offers; use the links on this page for current resources.

Find a moment in the episode

• 02:04 — The community workshop begins
• 08:45 — The exhaustion of doing everything
• 15:09 — Naming your needs and wishes
• 21:26 — Boundaries and receiving
• 27:32 — Explore your embodied yes and no
• 32:24 — Trusting your intuition

Speaker 1  0:00  
I am truly excited to bring you this podcast. I recently went live inside of my private community online at the satisfied woman.com this is a vibrant community of women, just like you, looking for their own path to satisfaction. It's my privilege and honor to support them, and I do go live regularly in the community, but there was but there was something particularly special about this broadcast. It was on the feminine art of receiving, how to get what you want without over giving. And I talked to these women about the detriment of giving ourselves away to the point of depletion, exhaustion and burnout, and I offered permission in how to do things differently and to start receiving in order to access creativity and abundance. Some of my talk actually even brought me to tears, because it's so powerful and I believe so necessary. So rather than record a separate podcast, I wanted to bring this to you, live raw and completely vulnerable, so that you can hear what's happening inside the community. And if you feel inspired to join, please do so at my website, thesatisfied woman.com

Unknown Speaker  1:13  
we're here and we're waiting for you.

Speaker 1  1:17  
Welcome to the satisfied woman podcast. I'm your host. Alanna Kaivalya, this podcast is dedicated to helping women lean into their femininity and rediscover the power of their feminine gifts. We take a look at what it means to be a modern woman and how we can live a satisfied life on our own terms. Visit the hub at the satisfied woman.com

Unknown Speaker  1:43  
and now get ready for this powerful

Speaker 1  1:44  
live broadcast experience. And if you're watching on YouTube or listening through your headphones, I hope what you'll feel is exactly what me and all of the women who were there that day felt as well.

Unknown Speaker  2:02  
All right. Hi everybody. I

Speaker 1  2:04  
think that hopefully you can hear me and see me. Give me a thumbs up. Do a little reaction, just to let me know that it is all good. I can see the chat by the way I'm looking at the chat. So as I give my talk today, I can make, Oh, good. Got a thumbs up, perfect. You never know with these things. I know that we're all so adept at going live anymore after the pandemic, but even still, it kind of makes me nervous. You know, technical glitches are always real. So glad you can see and hear me. Thank you for being here today. It is a great honor and pleasure. And before I even dive into what I have for you, I want to say thank you a true, resonant, heartfelt thank you for being a part of my community and for being here with me at the satisfied woman. This whole experience has been such a labor of love and passion, but also of a little bit of pressure, because I am so conscious of how much women need this work, and so the fact that you're here, the fact that you're showing up, the fact that you're resonating with the work, the fact that you're reading the book, I cannot tell you what it means to me, but also hopefully what it means to you and what it's doing for you. So we are. We are. This is a movement. We are in it, and it is my great pleasure and privilege to be here with you. So for those of you here with me on the satisfied woman community, I am just here to serve and make sure that I'm doing everything that I can to help you move forward on your path to satisfaction. And let me really quickly define satisfaction for you, because I think it'll blow your mind, if you haven't heard me define it for you, yet satisfaction is the pleasure derived from the fulfillment of your wishes and needs. Let that just sink in for a second. Yeah, the pleasure we love that derived from the fulfillment. So it's continuous, holistic of your wishes and needs. The fulfillment of your wishes give life meaning. Life has no meaning, but what we bring to it. And everyone on the planet has to have their needs met. So when we have our needs met, we're making our wishes happen when we're fulfilled by it. That is the definition of satisfaction. And for women, that's a feeling. Okay? It's not a bottom line. It's not zeros in the bank account. I mean, it can be we love that too. It's not defined by anything specific. It's defined by you, and what makes you feel most pleasure, filled and fulfilled. So that's the pathway, that's what I'm helping as many women as I can get to, is that state of satisfaction. And there are many ways to do it. You know, I've got courses, a book I do one on one coaching. I have this community. We're starting to have conversations in here. I'm going live. I'm really throwing everything I have at this. This is, this is my, not just my life's work, but my soul's work. And so again, hard. Thank you. So I have to, I have a very cool presentation for you all today. Um, let me get my notes. Yes, I have notes you can't take, but you can take the girl out of the PhD program, but you can't take the PhD out of the girl. She's got notes. She did her research. She has shown up for you today. So let me just grab them there, on a different pain and because I'm going to be paying attention a little bit to my notes, if I miss a question in the chat, it's not because I intend to miss it. I will look at it as soon as I can, as soon as I have a moment, a free moment. So please feel free as I'm talking and delivering this talk to you today, which is about the feminine art of receiving. How to get what you want without over giving. I mean, who doesn't want that? How to get what you want without over giving. I'm going to tell you the secrets to that today. So if I offer something that feels confusing, please feel free to enter a question. I'll be paying attention and answering your questions. This is interactive. If I say something that you like or enjoy, feel free to react. If I say something that you don't like or that you're confused by, you can feel free to react. This is a free and safe space. So just you know, be here and be alive with me. Thank you guys. All right, here we go. So excited. Honestly, I've been looking forward to giving this talk to you for a week. I put this, I put a few topics in our feed. We have a, you know, home feed, and I gave you five topics, and this was the one that you chose. So I've been working hard on putting this together for you, and I really want this conversation to be about reclaiming a core feminine principle, which is the ability to receive. Femininity has many qualities. Our two superpowers are our intuition and our emotional depth, but at our heart, femininity is the ability to receive. We are the container. We are the receptacle. Masculinity is meant to give and to be generous. I mean, when the masculine is generous and the feminine is receptive, magic is created in the world and everybody is in their rightful place and their rightful position. And the art of reception is not a passive art. It doesn't mean we're, you know, sitting around eating Bon Bons, although I do love that for us. I want that for us too. Um, it's the art of actually calling everyone around us in our sphere to rise up to their greatest potential, and we take that away from them when we're over giving or overdoing everything for them, we don't even let them have the chance to be generous with us. And generosity, if you've ever been in a position of generosity, you know how much that lights you up, and you know how much that really just thrills you from the inside out? So giving someone the chance to be generous with you is so incredibly important. And you know, I do know this on a soul level, because I have been in the same position that many women are in. In fact, I believe probably the same position that many of you are in, which is that we have, you know, this constant offering, this constant giving, this constant overdoing. I was in a marriage where my husband, at the time, was unemployed for 17 months. He was not contributing in any way, shape or form to the household. He was very much in his own wounded feminine which meant that I had to be in a much bigger, overachieving masculine role. And anytime we as feminine women are in that kind of role,

Unknown Speaker  8:44  
we

Speaker 1  8:45  
we exhaust ourselves. We completely exhaust ourselves. So I don't want us to live that burnout cycle anymore. I mean, if you've ever felt like you're doing everything right, but feeling unseen, unsupported, unsatisfied, really, you're not alone. You know you're not broken. You're just caught in a pattern that so many of us were conditioned to. We in this culture, we have been taught that the value of a woman is in how much we give ourselves away. So our value really lies in our ability to receive and our ability to accept and our ability to take in and yeah, I mean, certainly there's some things we can give and do, but right now it's going to be about receiving. So let me ask you this. For those of you who are here, live with me, and these are just reflective questions, there's no need to share anything you don't feel comfortable sharing. Really, just kind of sit with this for a second. When was the last time that you allowed yourself to simply receive without over explaining, without over explaining,

Unknown Speaker  9:53  
like justifying, you know,

Speaker 1  9:57  
without trying to make what? Asking for like, you know, too much. And where in your life are you over giving right now?

Unknown Speaker  10:11  
And what would it feel like to pull some of that energy back?

Unknown Speaker  10:18  
So if that feels like,

Speaker 1  10:20  
wow, yeah. You know, there are so many areas of my life where I'm doing too much, where I'm over giving, there's a lot of my energy I'm giving away. If you're over giving, you don't have enough energy to do what's important for you, to really tend to your own needs and make sure that you're getting the Met. When you're addressing the needs of everyone else, it's almost impossible to make sure that your needs are being met. So that is, that's kind of where we're starting and where we are going with this talk. I'm just sorry. I'm just tending to a few little technical things. Okay, ta da, okay, alright, so now let's start with our ideas behind this. How do we get into this feminine art of receiving? Okay? Because I I fully think based on the women that I coach, based on the women in my online courses, based on the women that I work with, that we're all doing too much, okay? And that doing too much, that over giving is very much in the masculine paradigm, and I want us in the feminine paradigm. That's where our rest and relaxation is. That's where our greatest source of creativity lies. That's where we get into that sense of abundance. Okay, when we receive we're in an abundant state. We love abundance. Women don't make money. Women can receive money because of their creativity and being in that space. Think of that as a perspective shift. So one of the things that has gotten us into this challenge, into this problem, is that we've been taught from a very early age to be the good girl. We're conditioned to be helpful, agreeable, selfless, that we only are pretty when we smile. If that's something that you've been taught from a very early age, raise your hand. Let me know. Put a reaction in the chat. It was certainly something that I was taught, even as I was being taught, you can do anything you want. You can always, you know, do everything for yourself. You don't need anybody else, and yet still smile at me pretty while you do it, make sure that you're likable. I mean, I remember being in New York City and attending big meetings with high powered people I used to I used to run a training program for a big gym called Equinox, so I was in meetings with some of their C level people. And I was so disempowered in those meetings that any idea I had wasn't listened to, and that my place was to just be quiet and smile these and these are big corporate meetings in New York City, and I still couldn't have enough agency to speak up, because my value was in how much I was good, meek, agreeable, doing everything that they wanted. And I don't doubt, yeah, Meg says she definitely relates. Sarah's like, yes, Michelle's got a thumbs up. So what happens is, when we're taught this as young girls, we grow up into a high functioning ghost. Now, let me define this, right? We handle everything. We get it all done. We're reliable, we're strong, that inside, we're essentially ghosting ourselves. We're invisible. We're disconnected. We don't tend to our own needs, because this good girl conditioning trains us to address everyone else's needs and diminish or completely dismiss our own. We effectively abandon ourselves in this cycle. So the good girl becomes the high functioning ghost. Now this doesn't mean you're a failure, and it doesn't mean you've done anything wrong. This is simply the culture that we've grown up in that gave us messaging that continues to disempower the feminine. I'm saying we don't need to do that anymore. Just because that's what we've been taught doesn't mean that that's what we need to continue to be. Just because that's what we've been told our value is doesn't mean that that's true. Your value lies in you getting your needs met and being the receiving, feminine, that creative, abundant human that you have the power to be when we stop ghosting ourselves, when we start really centering our own needs and wishes. Because don't forget, that's what satisfaction is. Satisfaction is the pleasure derived from the fulfillment of your wishes and needs. When you center your wishes and needs, you stop ghosting yourself. Yourself, you start centering your own visibility, your own vitality, and you prioritize

Unknown Speaker  15:06  
your satisfaction.

Speaker 1  15:09  
Okay, so no more high functioning ghosts, your needs, your wishes, are critically important for your satisfaction, and when you bring your needs and wishes forward, by the way, ladies, what that does when it's clear to everyone around you and yourself what your needs and wishes are, the people around you who love you will step up to serve those needs. That's receptivity. If you've never spoken your needs out loud. How do they know if you're ghosting yourself? You can be sure that they're probably not clear on what you need, and so they can't show up for you. So you continue that cycle of over, giving and overdoing, dismissing your own needs, and so everyone else dismisses your own, dismisses your needs, and lets you to continue over give

Unknown Speaker  16:02  
vicious cycle time to stop,

Speaker 1  16:06  
all right? The next point is chasing versus attracting, right? Because that over giving that good girl mentality, it's very output heavy, and it's very masculine. I know that that feels contrary, right, because we've been taught to be a good girl, but this kind of overdoing and over giving energy that is masculine energy, and frankly, it's not even good masculine energy. Okay, both the feminine and masculine have incredible, strong qualities. I'm not vilifying the masculine. I love the masculine in its highest and best form, same with the feminine. Masculine distortion is what causes problems. So the healthy masculine wants to be generous. It wants to nurture, to provide distorted masculine overdoes it. It drains itself. It becomes depleted. Right? So if we're continuously chasing if we're having to prove ourselves all the time, if we're trying to convince others that we're worthy of love, that we're worthy of belonging, that we're worthy of being taken care of, not only are we dismissing our feminine we're leaning into that heavy masculine mask. And anytime we don the mask of the masculine we overburden ourselves, we overwhelm ourselves, and we burn ourselves out. What we need instead is feminine magnetism, right? I'm sure all you guys in the school learned about how magnets work, how they attract, right? You have to have opposite poles. This is basic. You have to have opposite poles in order for those magnets to work together and then they become a unified whole. So we want that magnetism to draw in. That receptivity is magnetic. It calls people to their highest selves to help nourish us, provide for us, protect us, keep us safe. Now, can we provide, protect and keep ourselves safe? Sure,

Unknown Speaker  18:12  
but in today's world, that's

Speaker 1  18:14  
an incredibly exhausting position for a woman. It just is. I wish it wasn't. Trust me. I wish it wasn't. But you know, this world was not built for us. It wasn't built with us in mind. It wasn't built with our safety, our protection, our security in mind. So we can provide it for ourselves, and we often have to, but that's a lot of masculinity to put on ourselves all the time, every day, and if we can call those around us who love us in any capacity, whether they be our girlfriends, our cherished masculine partners, whoever they are, to support us a little bit, it takes the burden off. So what we need to do in order to get to that receptive position is to become more resonant with our own femininity, because if we don't, we end up chasing in relationships or business or friendships, we start clamoring after things, and that kind of clamoring over giving anxiety, anxious behavior is actually repellent. And again, this is basic, right? If we're donning even a distorted kind of masculine form of this overdoing, that even distorted masculine will repel the masculine that we're looking for support from we have to be in the feminine in order to attract and receive what it is that we need, because, ladies, we don't need to do everything. We don't we don't need to do everything all the time. I mean, I'm exhausted, are you? And I mean that seriously, like if you're feeling a sense of exhaustion from having to do everything for yourself all the time and for. Everybody else all the time, keeping them to account, holding them accountable, chasing after them. If you're exhausted by it, let me know. Say it in the chat. I mean, if you're tired like, raise your hand. Girl. I got you. Let's stop let's get into this receptivity so that you can relax. Now, interestingly, I understand the question of kind of a chicken or the egg, right?

Unknown Speaker  20:28  
Well, but if I don't

Speaker 1  20:30  
do everything, those things won't get done. You know, I'm thinking of a simple example of like the mom, if I don't pick up the socks and do the laundry, the laundry won't get done, correct? That's probably true for a while, honestly, you know, so eventually, eventually, if you stay in your femininity, if you stay in the resonance of receiving, there will come a point that the socks will pile up or there will be no more socks to wear that the laundry will get done and it won't be by you, but you have to hold that feminine post through maybe some discomfort for a while in order to shift the polarity of the other people around you so that they understand you're calling them into their highest and best

Unknown Speaker  21:23  
expressions.

Speaker 1  21:26  
So what this really requires, okay, are boundaries. Now, ladies, we look boundaries. I feel like anymore today is a buzzword,

Unknown Speaker  21:39  
boundaries, boundaries, boundaries. I mean, I,

Speaker 1  21:43  
my PhD is in depth psychology and mythology. There's a lot of talk of boundaries when it comes to therapy, therapeutic practices, people go to therapists just to learn about boundaries. I'm going to break it down for you, real simple. Okay, boundaries are not complicated, especially, especially for the feminine woman, boundaries for us are a clear yes or a clear No,

Unknown Speaker  22:14  
okay, and I even go a little bit further.

Speaker 1  22:16  
If you've read my book, raise your hand to say that one of the most powerful statements of the feminine, I say this in the book, one of the most powerful statements of the feminine is

Unknown Speaker  22:27  
no, because

Speaker 1  22:31  
one of the most powerful statements of the masculine is yes. The masculine is the doer, the masculine is the generator, the masculine is the nurturer. The feminine is the nourishment, the nourishing. The feminine is the no like until I want it to come into my space, I'm holding

Unknown Speaker  22:51  
a line.

Speaker 1  22:54  
So if the feminine is the receptacle, the receiver we get to determine what it is we receive the masculine can throw all sorts of stuff at us, and we can say no, no, no, no, yep, no, no, yep. Because if we can't say no, ladies, our yes isn't real. It has no meaning. If we can't say no, our yes isn't real. If we're always pouring ourselves out, then there's no there's nothing to fill. Women we I think of us as like Wells. Okay? A well is a receptacle and it holds water. Now the metaphor here is that water is life force, okay? The feminine is life force energy. You can think about it as the fact that we can literally create life, right? But whether we're mothers or not, we hold life force energy. We are the water that nourishing water that everything needs to live. So we have to have our well filled. This is a very sacred space, and wells don't exist in a vacuum. They feed and nourish the community around them, but the community needs to know that it's also their responsibility to tend to the well. They can't drain the well faster than it's being replenished. If they do, the well runs dry and the entire community suffers, including the well, right? What's interesting, and perhaps a little bit unfair, if I can name it honestly, is that women are the emotional calibrators of their space. We are the emotional regulators of our space. That's, I mean our superpowers, intuition and emotional depth, right?

Unknown Speaker  24:48  
So

Unknown Speaker  24:51  
that it's, I'm not gonna

Speaker 1  24:52  
lie, it's a heavy burden, right? I wish it wasn't. I wish I had better news on that front, but I don't. I can just give us some opportunities and ways to make. That easier to have ourselves be more supported, and to make sure that we've got the community around us that does support that we need to have a full well if we're going to be completely fulfilled, and that is a key to satisfaction. So those who are in our community, in our space, whether it's our beloved partner, whether it's our friendships, our family members, our colleagues, it doesn't matter. We want them to be careful and cautious and conscious about how they take or get our life force energy. So that's where boundaries are required. Okay, now I have an incredible woman that I'm working with, one on one with coaching. It's one of the most powerful things that I do, because, you know, as women, we're all unique individuals, and we all have actually, different paths to satisfaction, which you can imagine how difficult that makes a book to write. I wish I could just say, alright, you do this and you're satisfied, like there's one pathway go, but I know that all women want something a little bit differently. So I had to create, kind of the seeds, the structure, the platform for satisfaction. And so I get to work with women one on one, in order to help them create their most satisfied lives. And for some women, that is really based on creating the most satisfied, abundant business. And by abundant, I mean, yeah, money making that you're receiving the abundance for your creativity and really being locked into the feminine way of doing things. For other women, it's relationship. So I have one woman that I'm working with who is so overwhelmed in relationship and so overdoing and over giving. She said to me once recently that she feels like she's lost herself and she doesn't even know what she needs

Unknown Speaker  26:45  
anymore.

Speaker 1  26:48  
If you've been there, let me know. Give me a reaction, because I've been there. I've been there. So we've been doing work on checking in, and I want to do this with you guys right now on what our needs are, because for a woman, it's not hard, which is great news, right? It's not hard to understand what your needs and your boundaries are. Remember, it's just a clear yes and a clear No. And I will say that the no is perhaps the most Empower, most empowering and powerful statement for the woman. So wherever you are, hopefully you're not driving. If you're driving, ignore this, but if you're not driving, close your eyes.

Unknown Speaker  27:30  
Close your eyes and think of a situation recently

Speaker 1  27:32  
where you felt compromised, or where you felt like you've been over giving and overdoing, and when you feel that sense of depletion, that sense of overwhelm, that sense of burnout, you're going to feel it somewhere in your body. This is another real, sacred power of women. We feel things we feel deeply. So maybe you feel it as a crush on the chest. Maybe you feel it as a tightness in your belly, or like your throat is being closed, okay, now, with eyes closed, thinking about this sense of overwhelm, depletion, I'm giving so much I can't give any more notice where that is in your body. Feel that sensation, and maybe even place your hands on the part of the body where you feel that, and I want you to know right now, in this moment, right now in this moment that is your clear No, your body has that message. Your feminine intuition and emotional depth knows unequivocally what your clear, yes and your clear no are this is your boundary. And when your body, when your internal system, when your intuition issues, and no, you must speak it. You must speak it. Don't rationalize it and talk yourself out of it. Don't diminish it and not speak it at all. You must speak it, and when you hold that clear, no, that's what shows you your clear. Yes. So now, with your eyes closed, hopefully still, let's think of a time where you felt nourished, where you felt receptive, maybe, maybe someone in your life drew a bath for you, and said, Honey, I need you to just relax here for 20 minutes. God, I hope somebody's doing that for you. I hope somebody's doing that for you, or something like it. You know, I often use them the kind of metaphor of motorcycling as well, you know, because I don't want to, I don't want to pigeonhole women into being the I don't know whatever it is that they've said we were for so long, the the meek, mild, delicate, you know, in the kitchen, baking kind of things. And I do love baths. But I know a lot of female motorcycle riders as well. My masculine partner is a motorcycle rider. So when I see women on motorcycles, I'm like, Yeah, girl, get it. So maybe that. Where you feel most free or receptive or nourished. I don't care where it is okay when you're in that feeling of nourishment, receptivity, relaxation, creativity, and I hope that you've been there recently, put yourself there right now with your eyes closed, and feel what that feels like. Okay? Does it feel like a lightness? Does an actual maybe light go off somewhere inside of you? Do you feel a rush of warmth anywhere and perhaps identify it once again with your hands, just to really lock into that? That's your clear yes. And it doesn't have to be rational. It doesn't have to be logical. In fact, it most likely won't be, but that's not feminine. The feminine isn't rational or logical. It can be, but that's our masculine side.

Unknown Speaker  30:52  
So when you have that feeling

Speaker 1  30:55  
of yes, that's when you know your well is being tended to, that you're being honored, that you're being cherished. The feminine longs to be cherished by the masculine, whether it's our own internal masculine or whether it's the masculine counterparts around us, we get to the clear yes, when we hold our boundaries. Okay, so clear. Yes, clear. No. Now I work with so many women. I have a great privilege to do so,

Unknown Speaker  31:25  
and

Speaker 1  31:28  
I can't tell you how many women these days compromise they're known. They don't even voice them. They think that they're not important. They believe that they're not worthy of the No, or, even worse, that their only value lies in Yes, it doesn't. Today we stop this. I'm giving you full permission to issue and enforce your no when it arises. And now you know what it feels like, so if you still got your eyes closed, you can open them up. And Sarah says that was a powerful exercise. Sarah, I'm so glad to hear it. It is powerful. And now it's time to listen that when we have our clear No, that's our internal

Unknown Speaker  32:20  
like

Unknown Speaker  32:22  
essence, that's who we are

Speaker 1  32:24  
really dictating and determining how we can move forward best in our life, toward a path of satisfaction. Boundaries protect your ability to receive, because if you don't have the ability to receive, you'll just continue to over give. So boundaries protect your ability to receive with clarity and with grace, so receiving isn't passive, hopefully, hopefully that's clear again, I'm not I don't want us to all just like stop doing anything and sit around eating Bon Bons, although I do love that for us, I really do. Reception is a skill, okay? It requires trust most importantly. Most importantly, ladies, it requires trust in ourself, okay? And for the feminine woman, we trust ourself when we listen to and heed our intuition and our emotions.

Unknown Speaker  33:26  
If we stop listening to

Speaker 1  33:29  
our intuition emotions, I promise you, all is lost and no satisfaction can occur. All right, this is like the line. You cannot cross that line, and I know that we have been trained to cross it too much, too often and too far, because the world, our society, our culture, has told us

Unknown Speaker  33:50  
that we're not valuable,

Unknown Speaker  33:54  
that our intuition and our emotions make us crazy,

Speaker 1  34:00  
that we need to favor logic and rationality over them, and none of that is true, and it's deeply compromising to us as feminine women. Okay, so I want all of us to agree as much as we can today, to recenter our intuition and our emotion, because that's how we trust ourselves. And if we don't trust ourselves, we can never find our way to satisfaction. If we don't trust our emotion, our intuition, satisfaction is impossible. And I want, I need satisfaction to be possible for women everywhere, and I know that it is okay now, rationality and logic have they have their position, they have their place. You know, we can employ them too Absolutely, but not to talk us out of what is most important to us and what our soul craves and needs in any moment. Do. We can use logic and reason to figure out how to get those needs met, not to talk ourselves out of them, which is usually how they're introduced. I mean, I can't tell I have been, oh my goodness, girls, I want to

Unknown Speaker  35:13  
share some stories with you, right? Because

Speaker 1  35:16  
sometimes doing this work, it's tough to bear witness to, right? I feel the pain of all of us as we move through these challenges. I have been with a woman who I know to be loved by her husband, who became triggered about something. I don't even remember what it was, and it actually doesn't matter. She became triggered about something. She was in a very emotional space, and she was calling out for help, and she in the middle of almost, it was like a party. It was like a social gathering. Maybe there may be five or six of us there, and she called out and said, Look, that's not how it is. That's not how I remember it, or whatever it was, she said in an emotional way, trying to correct or call out a need. And immediately, by the husband who loves her, she was met with stop acting crazy. You must be on your period as if that invalidates her experience at all.

Unknown Speaker  36:15  
It doesn't. Women actually have incredible clarity

Unknown Speaker  36:22  
at any time of the month, really,

Speaker 1  36:27  
you know? And this is, this is just the culture we live in, right? The husband has been trained since the time he was small to recognize that women are crazy and that they're on their periods, and you got to watch out. And that kind of enculturation creates this real distortion as adults, thinking that that's a way to justify or diminish a woman's very valid emotional reality. It's not so our good men who want to do better need more education and do the work and us as women, we also need to stand in our power here, trust ourselves that no matter what our emotions or intuition are saying, that that is what's right for us, we need to have a sense of nervous system safety and regulation. Okay, that's really important. That's actually important for anybody. This isn't just a meg. I just saw Meg's comment. She said, It makes me emotional knowing how much I've abandoned myself. Girl, I know,

Unknown Speaker  37:32  
I know, and these tears are for you, but

Speaker 1  37:36  
you know they're for me too, like I teach this because I've lived it. I teach this and I do this work because I have some knowledge and some skill set and ability to make it better. But it doesn't mean that I've got it all worked out, you know? I've started this community so that we can have these conversations, so that we can see each other and Meg, I see you. I see you.

Unknown Speaker  38:02  
You know, I see your pain. I see myself too.

Speaker 1  38:07  
This is why we've got to do the work, and this is why we've got to do it together, right?

Unknown Speaker  38:14  
One of the things I say a lot, I actually,

Speaker 1  38:17  
I just got off of a podcast interview with a really lovely woman. It's a midlife makeover podcast. It'll probably be out, and at the end of May, I'll let you guys know. You know, we've been talking about, we were talking about this. I was getting kind of amped up for my talk with you guys today. We've been talking about this, about how, you know, women have just been trained to overdo and over give, and we've seen our value and giving ourselves away and how you know, intuition and emotion are really in our center and our core. And again, that doesn't mean we don't have the ability to be logical and rational. Of course we do, but our logic and rationale needs to be in service of our emotion and our intuition, and we constantly abandon ourselves. We become ghosts. We ghost ourselves.

Unknown Speaker  39:06  
One thing I can promise you

Speaker 1  39:10  
unequivocally is that anytime you don't listen to your emotions or your intuition, it's not going to go well, it's not and you know that, right? I'm not telling you anything you don't already know. You know that when you've overridden your intuition or been convinced otherwise or been dismissed because of it, it doesn't end well. The only way, ladies that our paths end in satisfaction is through that self trust in our emotions and our intuition, and I know that it's tough, and I know that sometimes people don't want to hear it, and I know especially the masculine doesn't like to be derailed by emotion and intuition, but it has to be that way, and the masculine counterparts who love us will cherish us enough to listen. Listen, we're not talking about indulging ourselves. I know so many women feel like, Oh, it's so selfish, right? And so selfish to say, no, it's so selfish to stop over giving okay, we're not indulging ourselves. We are allowing ourselves to be who we most fully are. We're allowing ourselves to be who we deserve to be, and to exercise the incredible power choice and opportunity that we have in this time. Right now. Do you realize that we I know, I know right now is weird. I know it is, and I know it's still on many levels, sucks, and I know that our choices are still not easy, but we're women, our choices have never been easy, okay, but we live in a time right now that we have more choice, more power, more agency than we ever have. Do you know that women weren't allowed to have their own bank account without a male co signer until 1988 i Eight. We have more financial power right now than I did as a kid, than my mother did. I think about the life My mother has lived my mom, she's still alive, and I have more power, choice and agency right now than she didn't my age. She didn't have sovereignty over her body. She didn't have the choice to have a family or not. My grandmother

Unknown Speaker  41:30  
definitely didn't.

Speaker 1  41:34  
Every woman who has gone before you, every woman who has gone before you, has had it harder,

Unknown Speaker  41:41  
and as hard as it is now, I think

Unknown Speaker  41:46  
it's both our responsibility and our blessing

Unknown Speaker  41:50  
to live into this

Speaker 1  41:53  
and to show the women who come after us how it's done. Ladies, we gotta show them what satisfaction looks like. So we have to lean into this work receiving is declaring yourself a sovereign woman who is worthy of that reception, worthy of support, worthy of ease, worthy of love and abundance without having to prove it. We

Unknown Speaker  42:26  
don't need to prove ourselves to anyone ever again.

Unknown Speaker  42:33  
And so today, I'm giving you permission

Speaker 1  42:38  
personally. Right here, right now, I'm giving you permission to receive, to feel your clear yes and no and issue it, to stop ghosting yourself and abandoning your intuition in favor of anything else. I'm giving you permission to center your intuition as a method of self trust, because that's one of the biggest and first steps you can take on your path to satisfaction. So who's with me? Who's ready? It's okay. You can take baby steps, but right now, own it, right? Say if that feels good, if that lights you up, if you get a clear yes on anything I'm saying, whatever that feeling is, remember, is it a light inside one of my coaching clients, she said it makes me feel like a butterfly expanding. If it's a warmth that you feel, if you have any kind of clear yes around Yes, I need to self trust. Yes. I need to stop ghosting myself. Yes. I always need to center my intuition emotion, let me know. Meg says, yes, yes. Meg, awesome. Love it. So, huge, huge, huge steps. And I know like this isn't simple. I know how hard this is. I know how every day it can be a battle. I know there are certain situations that will push you to the brink and make you want to dismiss your clear yes or no, but just start. Just start. Start simply, you know. And if this conversation has stirred something in you, and if you're tired of doing it alone, which I get it. I am too. If you want some support around this, then let's work together. All right, I have this really special container I've just opened up. It's just 30 days a private coaching container with me, and we can work on this. I have a little cute name for it too. It's called the satisfied woman power portal, and it's 30 days of personalized support. And we can work on whatever it is that you are ghosting yourself about one on one, sessions with me, ongoing messaging in between. It's a nervous system reset. Remember, I did mention this actually. I don't know if I talked about it too much, but when your nervous system is dysregulated, it's actually almost impossible for you to make good decisions for yourself. Okay, did you know that this is one of. Hallmarks of PTSD. And look, I have a PhD in psychology. I take this stuff seriously. I'm not throwing this out there lightly. I think as women on this planet, we all have at least a little bit of PTSD if we're self abandoning, if we're accommodating other people, that's a trigger mechanism that tells us our nervous system is dysregulated. When your nervous system is dysregulated, you're not fully in your prefrontal cortex, and it's almost impossible to make good decisions for yourself, which is why, in that state, it's almost critical that you have someone else who is online with their prefrontal cortex, who is there for you to help you regulate your nervous system and help you make the best decisions

Unknown Speaker  45:47  
possible?

Speaker 1  45:50  
I mean, we can't do this alone. We are relational beings. We are meant to do this with and for and through each other.

Unknown Speaker  46:02  
I know that our culture tells

Speaker 1  46:04  
us, oh, DIY, do it all yourself. Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. You don't need them. You can do and be everything you want. Yeah, I get it like that's cool, but that's a lot of bravado, and it's exhausting. So getting some support, getting your nervous system back online, resetting, redeveloping that self trust, creating the power to make awesome decisions for yourself, is a true sense of realignment. You don't have to keep ghosting yourself. It's safe to come back and it's safe to receive. Let's create that container of safety for you, you know, I mean, look, you can definitely do it alone.

Unknown Speaker  46:46  
You can, you can definitely,

Speaker 1  46:49  
there's lots of tools and support for you. My book this community. Thank goodness that you're here. Thank you for being here. I've got podcasts, I've got lots of things, but if you would like to work with me, or at least chat with me, look, let's just have a conversation about it, right? There's no obligation at all. Let's just, I want, actually, I want to hear from you and talk to you. You know, this sort of entrepreneurship can actually be a little bit lonely sometimes, which is why I build the community. I'm like, I gotta have these ladies to chat with. We can just have a 30 minute conversation. Let's talk about what you're going through. I'm putting the link to book that 30 minute call with me right there in the chat. So for those of you in the chat, have a look. It's there. For those of you watching the replay afterward, I'll make sure to put that link below. I've got some time. I'm carving out this time in my schedule and carving out the next 30 days to support you in this work. Because I'm sure, I hope you can feel and I hope that you feel yourself, how important it is, how really getting to this place of receptivity, realigning yourself in your femininity, self, Trust is the key to whatever it is that you're feeling stuck about right now, right? I mean, I coach women to build businesses, to build successful businesses. It starts here. I coach women to either reframe or exit toxic relationship patterns or to exit relationships altogether. I coach women to get into that feminine, receptive place, to attract the right, healthy masculine partner for them. But it all starts here, and at the very least, it helps you recalibrate yourself so that you stop ghosting yourself. Okay, so you are not too much, you are not asking for too much in your life, you are allowed to receive your satisfaction. Isn't selfish, it's sacred, and it's time. It's time. So that's what I have for you today. You can tell how excited I was about this talk, and I am truly so grateful that you've all showed up for yourselves and for me to give me somebody to talk to. Thank you for being here in this community. Thank you for being a part of the satisfied woman movement. It is a movement that was the vision I had when I wrote the book. It all started with the book. With the book. You know, I had this vision of walking into, like, a coffee shop, Starbucks, something where women are reading, and I look around and like, you know, there's three women reading the book. Because then, you know, then you know, they're interested in this. They're saying yes to themselves and no to everything that isn't aligned with their highest interest. We have to start somewhere. So let's start together. All right, everybody, I'm going to close out here in a moment, if you haven't yet, go ahead and those of you here with me now. Email in that chat, in the chat is going to disappear, so click that link, open it up. Book your free, free, no obligations. Call with me. It's just 30 minutes. Let's talk about what's going on with you. I can't wait to connect with you in real time. I'm here to help and support you. I have given you so many resources. I will continue to give you everything I have for this movement, and keep please talking to me and letting me know what you need. I love that you guys chose this as the topic for today. I think there was a reason for it. It's well aligned. It's speaking to you. I'll drop some more topics. Give me some more feedback. I really, really want this to be a discourse between you and I. I don't have all the answers. I just have some, and I have a structure for us that I do know works, so let's follow it, let's move it forward, and let's become satisfied. Women together. All right. Thank you so much from the bottom of my heart for being here, and I will look forward to talking to you all very soon. You.