Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 0:00
Women are ready. They're ready for success on their terms. They're ready for sovereignty, and they're certainly ready for satisfaction. One of the critical inflection points that makes all of that possible for a woman is money. Money gives a woman choice, it gives her freedom. It gives her the ability to say yes to the things that are important to her and no to the things that she no longer wants to hold on to. In order for a woman to really craft her own sense of sovereignty, success, freedom, choice, money, she needs to have her own business, but in order to create her own business, the first thing she needs is a sense of safety. So, let's talk about exactly how to create that safe foundation for a woman who's ready to make the leap into her own sovereignty. Welcome to the Satisfied Woman podcast. I'm your host, Alanna Kaivalya. This podcast is dedicated to helping women lean into their femininity and rediscover the power of their feminine gifts. We take a look at what it means to be a modern woman and how we can live a satisfied and sovereign life on our own terms. Visit the hub at the satisfied woman.com and make sure you head over there to book a business build discovery call with me. If you know that you're sitting on magic, if you've had the life experience and wisdom that you need to create a business. Let's talk about it. If people are already coming to you and you're giving that information away for free, let's definitely have a chat. So, make sure that you book your call with me [email protected] Now, let's get to it. If you haven't listened to the last few episodes, then I recommend that you go back, start with episode 57 We've had a bit of a series in this podcast for the last few episodes, talking about the importance of money. Now, I know money shouldn't be everything, but it kind of is, and up to a certain point, money actually does buy happiness. Beyond that, beyond a certain point, whatever that point is, and on average, apparently, if you're in America, about $75,000 a year is the point at which most adults are able to just handle themselves, but to have a little luxury and to really make life grand, statistics show it's more like $125,000 a year, right now, which you know, if I think back to my early 20s, those numbers sound astronomical, and if you are a woman that doesn't have anything close to that, or you have that and it's being siphoned away by other responsibilities or the heavy load that you bear because you're a woman with incredible expectations placed on you and your life. Then I'm glad you're here. Let's talk more deeply, more profoundly about why money is so important for a woman, because beyond just buying happiness or the ability to live a well-lived life, the one you deserve. For a woman, money gives us choice. And for a long time in our cultural history, women haven't had choices. In fact, it wasn't even until 1974 that a woman was allowed to have her own bank account without a male cosigner, and if you read into that, and if you look at the history books, for a long time, including up to about the last 50 years, women's money have been controlled by someone other than themselves. We haven't been able to have our own business loans, we couldn't own our own homes, so this is all really recent for women, and what this provides us is control over our own lives and our own destiny. Money is bigger than just happiness or a life well deserved. Money is agency. Money gives us the power to choose to stay, to go, to leave, to have a vacation, to pay for the extra whatever it is we need to for our family. It's critical, and the easiest and best way for a woman to really own her power and agency in terms of money is to have her own business, because out in the marketplace right now, even still in this day and age, women make only 80 cents to every full dollar that a man makes, so if you go. Work for someone else, you're automatically going to have to work an additional 20% harder than everyone else around you.
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 5:07
I don't want you to do that. Women are already working hard enough. I want you to have a business that reflects who you are and your values and psychology as a woman. So, let's talk about that for a second, because look, here's the thing, you know, I wrote this book, The Way of a Satisfied Woman, and it covers a lot of ground. It talks about the foundational principles to satisfaction for a woman, and one of those is sovereignty, having exactly what you need to be able to have the power and choice and agency to live life as you choose. Now, how do we know what a woman wants? How do we know what a woman needs? I mean, you know, if there happen to be any men listening to this podcast, I know that's a question you've had since time immemorial, but it's not that complicated to figure out. Feminine psychology is different than masculine psychology, it just is. It's not better or worse. There's not one that is more functional, or you know, gonna get you further. Both are awesome. We, as human beings, both have feminine and masculine energies within us. As a feminine woman, you're going to have more femininity, and trust me, sister, you're going to be far happier if you drop that heavy masculine armor that the world has asked you to put on and lean into your femininity and feminine gifts. What that asks of us is some foundational qualities, so that we can feel a sense of satisfaction and really own our sovereignty. It doesn't happen in a vacuum, right? And this is why you'll hear my last podcast, business advice that's typically thrown around doesn't often work for women. One of the classic pieces of advice you hear in business, especially for people harboring a dream that have magic, like I know that you do, that have a specialty that you want to put out there, you want to help people, you want to earn according to your value and your power. If that's inside of you, that business advice that says just leap, burn the boats, go all in. It doesn't work for a woman. It doesn't1. of the things that is foundational, and that you'll read about in my book, is safety. Women need to know that they are safe, and this comes from our historical evolution back from the time when we were a tribal population of humans, when survival was much more simple. There wasn't bills due, there wasn't homes to be lived in. It was just us on some grassy plain somewhere, anywhere around the world, could be high on a mountaintop in a lush forest, but the tribal mechanics are still alive in our psychology. We are not so far away from that that our psychology and even our DNA has evolved beyond it. Okay, so we do need to understand those basic foundational mechanics of our psyche to know why things like safety, security, and trust in our world is critical for us as women, and that it is different for a woman than it is for a man. In those early tribal days, right, long, long ago, in lands far, far away, a woman was more, more vulnerable now today. I know. Look, I get it. I will beat the drum all day long. That women can do everything. Absolutely, you can do everything you want. I will always affirm that. But as a woman, we are going to do it a little differently. And here's why: our physical bodies are just not quite as strong as male bodies, we're strong. Yes, absolutely. But our actual muscle fibers are a little less strong, and that represented a pretty profound difference back in those days. We also, if we are pregnant or if we are taking care of children, we are more vulnerable. We are simply more vulnerable. That's okay. We have strength in many different areas. If it's not physical strength, we have power in many different ways. If it's not that power to go, go, go all day across a grassy plain to charge after an animal and kill it with our bare hands. Masculine power does that, it's good at that, it's awesome at that.
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 9:44
In fact, and again, if we look at those early tribal developments that are locked in, encoded into our biology, our DNA, we no longer wonder why, and we can actually relax into some of these profound. And amazing differences between femininity and masculinity. All right, so if we accept that as a feminine woman in these bodies with slightly different psychology DNA energies, we have hormonal fluctuations that are different from our masculine counterparts, we have biological differences, we have psychological differences. We are in a more vulnerable state in those tribal early days. Okay, so what we needed was protection. We needed protection and safety in order to ensure survival, and that meant being a part of a community and being associated with a masculine partner. The masculine partner was the one who had that consistent, non-hormonally changing energy that allowed him to just go, go, go all day, every day, and that's why we have a five day work week, eight to five, that kind of constant relentless charge forward is really designed for a masculine biology. It's not really designed for a feminine biology. The world of success, the world of business, the world we exist in, our current culture was not designed with the feminine woman in mind, and yet there is still that demand that we rise up to it and achieve on those terms. I say we do it differently. Let's honor who we are, because those early tribal women, they knew some things, they were smart again, they were not powerless, they just understood what their strengths were versus what the strengths of a masculine body were, and so for protection and survival they developed other traits, traits like communication, traits like specialization, traits like problem solving, strategy, diplomacy, traits like really adhering to community, to a loved one, to a partnership, in order to move the entire group forward. She needs to know she's safe, because the woman alone, back in those early tribal years, and in our biology and psychology today, the woman alone is inherently vulnerable. She doesn't know if she will survive. The woman alone, back in those tribal days, if the bear was coming, she might be able to fend it off, but if she's pregnant or has children, much less likely. It is quite literally a matter of life or death to know as a woman that we are connected, that we have a community, that we have a partnership that supports us most fundamentally, that we are safe. Safety for a woman is paramount. Again, life or death. So, when you tell a woman today, just make the leap, pursue your dreams. There's this underpinning of fear that is different for the feminine psychology than it is for masculine psychology. Masculine psychology has risk taking at its core, it is bred for risk on a different level and on different terms, women can take risks, and I encourage them to do so. The women that I work with to help build their businesses, to help draw out their magic, I'm affirming those risks, making sure the foundation is there, making sure we're not just burning the boats and trying to pack all of our incredible feminine responsibilities into the life raft before we're able to row across to the other shore. I want you to really honor this, you know, and I, I feel and understand the potential resistances coming up, because if you're a woman who has been raised in this culture and has gotten the narrative of you can do anything, you can be everything. The other part of that narrative for women today is you can do it all, you can be it all, but you also need to do it all and be all things at all times, not just for yourself but for everyone else too, and you got to do it with a smile, and you got to make it look good, and that's a recipe for burnout, that's a recipe for overwhelm, and it's a recipe for failure that keeps us small and compacted in the narrative that says we're always running uphill with a giant 50 pound boulder on our backs. I want you riding on a level surface, and I want you to drop the load, so you know in my book I talk about the principles of satisfaction, and a woman cannot even begin to approach satisfaction unless she has what I call.
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 14:59
The four keys: safety, security, trust in herself and the world around her, and being cherished by the masculine, whether that's the masculine counterparts that she has around her or the masculine energy she has within herself that is not overriding her femininity so hard it's causing her to take risks that literally feel like life or death. Okay, so there's your history lesson. There's also your grace, your ability to recognize and understand. Ah, that's why it has felt so hard, that's why it feels so terrifying. That's why, when I try to lean into this presiding model of success, it feels like I've failed even before I've begun. It wasn't designed for you. Here's what is designed for you: figuring out a system and a strategy first that makes your leap safe, understanding the foundation that you're walking out onto, so that it doesn't feel like quicksand, pursuing your dreams with a system and a strategy that is foolproof and fail proof with the support you need to achieve it, so that you can show all your sisters, your friends, your daughters, women everywhere that yes, a woman can achieve her dreams, she can do great things, and she will do it on her terms. Women need a runway, they need support. We're not trying to escape responsibility. We know the weight that we carry with our communities, with our diplomacy, with our connections, with our creative strategies and solutions for people's problems. If we take one more quick look back into our history, because I think it's important. You know, I think that one of the things that happens a lot today is the expectation that everything is neutral, that the advice and pathways to success should just work for everybody, no matter what, along the same timeline, and they don't. They work for those who can run fast, consistently, without fail on that timeline that have no hormonal fluctuations or energetic fluctuations or additional family responsibility, they're not caring for aging parents or children, they don't have that 50 pound boulder of already beginning at 80 cents to the dollar, if you don't have that, maybe you can run and have success on those terms, but if you are a woman, the terms are different. I want you to earn success to achieve your dreams on your terms with that stable foundation, none of the quicksand, the system that draws your magic from you, because again, you know what's interesting to me, I'm full of fascinating evolutionary psychology facts for you today, because the more that I dig into who we are as women and the differences between feminine psychology and masculine psychology, the more that I want to understand why those differences exist. They are just present, right? We don't have to question them or worry about them, and we certainly should never override them. They are strengths, even if society currently doesn't recognize them as such. I want you to show the world they are. I want to show you how they are. So, here's your fun historical fact, back from those tribal days of early humanity, women spent 90 to 95% of their time with other women, not alone, not just raising their children, not raising children, 90 to 95% of their time was spent with other women in community, not with men. You know what they were doing all day, every day, with one another, talking, communicating, solving people's problems. And one woman had a specialty. She had a source of magic that was the solution to another woman's challenge, and that other woman, she had a specialty, she had a source of magic, she had something that she did that the other woman couldn't do, but she helped make them all better by sharing her gifts, her magic, her specialty was currency, her communication, connection, diplomacy, her ability to be strategic in solving another woman's problems was valuable. It still is, but our culture, our current paradigm, has chosen to tell us that it's not valuable, that it's simply what women do, and that we should give it away for free.
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 19:58
So, sister, if you're listening to this, I hope that you hear the truth behind it, the truth that lives deeply inside of you, that is encoded not just in your biology and your DNA, but your incredible hormonal fluctuations, that powerful intuition that you have, that diplomacy you possess, the communication, the connection, your ability to see all things, to hold all of those threads, and to bring them into that one thing that you do that makes you unique, special, and valuable. When you're ready to turn that not just into a business, but the source of your sovereignty, the source of your satisfaction, your legacy for your sisters, the women around you, your daughters. When you're ready to bring your magic forward and earn not just money but empowerment, agency to reclaim who you are as a feminine woman. Because look, yeah, I will teach you how to make a business. I will help you build that business. I will build it for you with my team. That's what I do with the women that I work with. They come to me and they say, Alanna, I heard your message. I want this relief. I want this release. I want this permission to be most fully who I am and make money and be full of agency while I do it. And I'll say, great. Let's get that done. Let's figure out your magic. Let's figure out what you've been withholding from the world or giving away for free. Somebody else is already charging for it. You should be too. That's what I do with women. When you're ready, come book the call. dissatisfiedwoman.com is where you'll find me. Lots of links there. Book the call for your business build clarity session with me. We're going to talk about this magic, because, yeah, I'll build your business. Me and my team are ready, that's what we do. But you know, and I know it's not just about the business, that's the mechanism to your freedom, to your sovereignty, to your satisfaction, to you showing your sisters, your friends, your daughters that a woman is powerful. That's why I write the book. That's why I do what I do. This is the satisfied woman, and I want you to become one, so I look forward to talking to you soon. And until then, do everything you can to stay sovereign and satisfied,
Unknown Speaker 22:29
you.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
