Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 0:00
I'm going to share something with you that is probably going to get under your skin a little bit, and I'm kind of hoping that it will, because if it does, that means it's activating, and I know that an activated woman is a woman with agency, and agency is right at the beginning of you claiming your sovereignty. Now, if you've listened to any of my podcasts in the past, you know how important both sovereignty and satisfaction are for the modern day woman, and so it's time for us to claim it. All right, you ready? Your magic, the thing that makes you so unique and special, is already making money. It's just probably not making money for you, but if you keep listening, I'm going to tell you how it can. Welcome to the Satisfied Woman Podcast. I'm your host, Alanna Kaivalya. This podcast is dedicated to helping women lean into their femininity and rediscover the power of their feminine gifts. We take a look at what it means to be a modern woman and how we can live a satisfied and sovereign life on our own terms. Visit the hub at the satisfied woman.com and when you head over to the Satisfied woman.com the first thing you'll be able to do is book a call directly with me, so that you and I can talk about exactly what your magic is, why it's not making you money, and how you and I can create an online business together in 90 days, where you'll be able to reclaim your sovereignty and start to make both impact and income with your gifts, so make sure you head over to the Satisfied woman.com book the call. I'll look forward to talking to you. So, if that sounds confusing, this idea that your magic is already making money, just not for you. Let's dig into that a little bit, because I'm willing to bet that it's true. In fact, the women that I work with day in and day out to help rediscover their sovereignty and satisfaction realize this time and time again. Your magic rests in what people already come to you for not what degree you have, not what certifications you have, not even potentially what job you spend your days doing, and probably not what you think you should build a business around. A lot of women come to me with an idea of a business they think they want to build, maybe based on what they've seen other people do, and inevitably things shift into really becoming their expression of fullness of who they are. Keep calling it magic, but it's this intrinsic thing that you already do, the thing that people already seek you out for, and the problem that you solve over and over again, so think about it. What do your friends already always ask you for? And what challenge have you navigated that other women are currently facing? Like, for example, have you been through a really difficult and challenging divorce? And so when that starts happening to your friends and community members. Everybody points to you and says, "Ah, she's been through it. You need to talk to her. Or are you in a really successful marriage? And other people with challenges in their marriage point to you and go, "Ah, talk to her, she knows exactly how to help. Have you successfully raised children that other women are going. Oh my gosh, what do I do now? Have you navigated a complicated career that is usually only occupied by men, and are helping women rise up to your level? I guarantee you, you already have a thing, something that people are coming to you for, and my suspicion is, in fact, it's more than a suspicion, is that your business is already hiding there. Let's look at this historically. You know that I love looking at the historical context, because here's the thing: feminine psychology is not new. We didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday, or the psychology truck yesterday, and go, aha, women think a little differently. No, this has actually been the case for the entirety of human existence. It's built into our biology, it's built into our DNA.
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 4:34
Your psychology is simply an expression of this timeless history behind you of all your foremothers, what they've experienced and gone through, being passed down through your genes, through your psyche, through the way that you live your life now. So, a lot of things that you and I experience as women, and it is different than what men experience, is because. Because we have literally been essentially born that way, we've been raised that way as well, in a culture that both affirms those differences, and to some extent, this is what we do here at the Satisfied Woman, is exploiting those differences, it's telling us that we as women, are less valuable, and how do I know that? Because right now, in this day and age, still women make on average 80 cents for every dollar a man makes. That is systemic and cultural wide devaluation of women. Now, there's nobody specifically to blame for that. This is just historical. Everybody's continued to live this way and affirm the old notions of what they have thought femininity is, or what women should be, but frankly, a lot of that is wrong. So, let's take a look at the historical context in terms of this, this idea that you have magic that is already making money, probably just not for you. And how to get that money back? So, historically, think about times before we've lived in cities, times before the Industrial Lucian, long, long, long ago, Industrial Revolution, excuse me, long, long, long ago, when we were still largely tribal as humans in tribes every day women gathered together. We worked together, and that's different from how men typically and traditionally worked in tribes. They would go out on sometimes solo missions or sometimes group missions, but those missions didn't involve a lot of chatting. They were singular, focused. It was to go out and kill the buffalo, or go out and kill the game animal, or go out and defend your land against another tribe. Right, there was one aim, one goal, one focus. Probably not a lot of talking. Everybody was clear on the hierarchy: you go, you seek, you conquer, you come back. Meanwhile, women - and this is not hierarchical, by the way - this is biological - women in our bodies physically, our muscle mass is less strong than men. We have less stamina than men, typically. And I'm not saying that there aren't female warriors out there. There are, in fact, even in mythology, there are powerful warriors. Look at Athena, look at Artemis, look at Kali, look at Durga. Women are ass kickers. However, we are warriors and ass kickers in a different way. And if you read my book, The Way of a Satisfied Woman, I unpack that for you. Yes, of course, we can do everything that anyone else, including men, can, but we will do it differently, because we are feminine women, and differently isn't worse, differently isn't less than, differently is often even more powerful, it's often even more effective, but it is different, and I'm here for us to lean into and not only own those differences, but be empowered by them and be rewarded appropriately for them. Okay, so tribal context, the men are doing their thing, they're going out, they're hunting, it's this singular focus, seek, conquer, come back, maybe talking, probably not very clear, very physical. The women are in the village, they're protecting the village, they're talking about things. There's a lot of communication. Not surprising, women still today have a lot of communication. When a woman has a problem, she wants to talk about it to solve it, and she definitely wants to solve the problem. She wants to brainstorm solutions, she wants to figure out why the problem exists in the first place, and then she wants to find the best solution for everyone. Men solve problems differently, not a lot of talking involved. It's usually just fix it, and we're good again. No hierarchy, but differences. Women typically raised children together, and again, that's not a cultural slight or anything. It's that the children can't go out and hunt yet. The women are there doing the things in the village, and so are the children, and we're all raising children together.
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 9:08
We're communicating together, we're solving problems together, we're sharing information, we're building each other up, and in that community, that very connective community, communicative community, every woman became known for something. Every woman has a differentiator, just like the men did. Some men were the best long-range archer. Some men were the best at finding the herd and figuring out which one was going to be the kill for the day. Some women were the best at creating the fish basket that caught the food for the tribe. Some women were the best at repairing the thatch on the huts. Just like any of us, we all have special skills. We are all unique and special snowflakes. Maybe one woman was the healer, and this was off. Been the post of a woman back in the day, in tribal cultures, the woman was the keeper of the spiritual or healing wisdom, and we still are oftentimes that today. Maybe one woman was the organizer. Have you ever had help from a girlfriend to clean out your closet? That's what I'm talking about. One woman was the matchmaker. Did anybody in your history set you up on a blind date? That's her one woman was the wise elder. One woman was the nourisher. The yeah girl, let me, let me help you out with that. Let me draw you a bath. One woman was the storyteller. One woman was the teacher, right? It wasn't a homogenous experience. It was an individualized, and as we would say today, individuated experience. Every woman went to you or her for a specific kind of wisdom. Now that hasn't changed. We just don't call it a tribe anymore. We don't live that way, but that history still exists in our biology and in our psychology, and today we call it family, today we call it our workplace, today we call it our friends group, our community, but I guarantee you, you are still known for something, and because it comes so naturally to you, it probably feels kind of ordinary. It probably doesn't feel monetizable, you know. As I'm talking, you're probably even sitting there listening in your car or watching me on YouTube, thinking, okay, Alanna, but I don't have a gift that's worth anything. Sure, my friends come to me for advice, but I mean I could charge for that, and this is one of the reasons women really struggle to identify the heart of what their business could be. It's because their gifts at this point feel normal, and they've been normalized and devalued, you've lived with them your entire life, so you don't recognize them as exceptional, you assume everybody knows this, or everybody can do this, or everybody understands this, and the reality is no, they don't, and they can't, otherwise they would never come to you for advice, and the thing that most people come to you for is the thing that is most valuable to them. But here's what's true in our culture, right? Remember, our culture, there's no one to blame, no one's like at the helm of it, no one's making these decisions. We're not here to place blame or feel victimized by it. We're here to unpack and understand what the culture is, this state that we live in, and how you and I as individual women can change it and reclaim our feminine power, agency, sovereignty, satisfaction on our own terms, right. That's the mission here, and the easiest, the fastest way to do that, to step back into your own agency and sovereignty, is actually to have your own business, an online business, really, because that's the way you number one, make 100% of your own money, number two, create a business that moves and works with you, that flows with your life. And number three, like it or not, in our world, money is what gives you choice. And at the heart of all this, it's not about the money, it's about the choice, it's about you being able to have the sovereignty and ability to choose fully yes or no to anything in your life. If you don't have the money to do it, you often can't. I speak to many women who are trapped by this, which is why it's at the forefront of the work I do with women.
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 13:56
And if you're ready for that, go to the satisfied woman and book that call with me, because what's true, and what I know, the women that I work with, and you probably listening, is that you have been conditioned to give away your wisdom, to give away your expertise. You see, women are taught to help, we're literally trained to help, to support, to nurture, to give. We're told that the more we give ourselves away, the more we will be protected and belong to our community, family, culture, or tribe, but that's backwards, because the more we give ourselves away, the more depleted we are, the more devalued we are, and at some point, if we finally decide we've got nothing more to give, is the moment our greatest fear comes true, and we are actually discarded. So, this training is false, this education, this thing that we've grown up with, is actually come. Completely counterproductive to what it is we as humans, every human desires, which is belonging. Generosity is beautiful, you know. Every now and again, but we cannot treat our expertise as something that should be free. Men don't do that. It's time that we stop. Here's what we do. You see, women will spend hours, hours, days, even their own money, sometimes helping another friend through a divorce. We'll guide someone through a health crisis because it's one we've already survived, will mentor another younger colleague, because we feel like we should, we'll support another woman through a huge life transition, never considering that our wisdom and expertise actually has value, never considering that this window, this wisdom could actually become an income stream that gives us the sovereignty and agency to make powerful choices for ourselves and to keep providing this service to an even greater community of women who might need it, because here's my point: someone is already paying for this right now, literally right now, someone today somewhere is paying for the exact thing you know how to do. Someone is literally paying another person to help them through a divorce, help them through a life transition, mentor them through the next stage or step in their career. Someone is paying another person to help them figure out how best to raise their difficult child. I'm telling you, someone is already making money from the magic that you have, and if you're not, that scale needs to change in your favor. So, the question isn't whether your knowledge has value, the question really is whether you're willing right now to actually recognize its value and to claim it, to step into it, to rise up to the level of expertise and own it, because you already have it, but the more you devalue it, the more you continue to give it away, the more all of your other friends, colleagues, sisters, daughters will continue to think that women should give themselves away for free, that is not what we want to teach others. That's not what I'm here to teach you. That's not the legacy I want any of us as women at this incredible time in history to leave. I don't want my sisters, daughters, friends, colleagues to continue to make anything less than the full dollar for every dollar a man makes, starting right now. And what's true is that who's going to help us with this? Other women, that's the way it's always been, not just our culture understands that you intrinsically understand that your psychology, your biology, your DNA understands that we have spent, I don't even know how many, what is it, 200 million years or something evolving into who we are today, whatever, whatever that timeline is, right, wherever we start that clock, however we look at history, we're here today because the women in our past, our foremothers, gathered. We helped each other. We offered our expertise to one another, but not for free. The women who made the best fish basket in the tribe shouldn't just give away her fish. The woman who thatched the roofs the best, so that the rain wouldn't fall in, didn't just do it out of the goodness of her heart. She was fully supported. Now, back then, there wasn't paper dollars, or even today, I don't even know if there's paper dollars anymore, but whatever those numbers are on your bank account.
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 19:23
My goodness, sister, let's add another comma in the bank, because people do pay for guidance, they pay for shortcuts. Think about it, what would you have given to skip over some of the pain you've had to endure to get to where you are now. If another woman, if another person would pay you for that, so that they could have some ease and grace in their evolution, in their trajectory in life, isn't that valuable? People pay for perspective, they pay for experience, they pay for support. They pay for wisdom, transformation, and often, especially women, the thing people want access to the most is someone that's already walked that path, someone who's already been there, and I know that you've been there. Every woman that I speak to, every woman that I coach, has an incredible story. She's got an incredible history that she's gone through to get where she is now. Because, as I constantly say, we are at a really incredible time in human history right now. Women have more power, agency, and choice than they've ever had before. It's not enough. It's not 100% but we are getting there. And what are we going to do with it? We can't continue to devalue ourselves. We can't continue to stand in the shadows. We definitely can't continue to do things on men's terms. It's time for us to do it on our terms, to value ourselves properly to reclaim the sovereignty and satisfaction that is our birthright, because the biggest shift here isn't building a business. Now, when you book your call with me over at The Satisfied woman.com you and I are going to talk about exactly what your magic is and how to monetize it, and the online business I can actually build for you inside of 90 days to get this impact and income stream rolling for you, and that is tangible. Right there is going to be in 90 days a pathway for you to bring people in and actually have them pay you money, that's a huge deal, right? I will get you to the finish line, but what I find is that over those 90 days the biggest shift really isn't the building of the business. Yes, that's the, that's the product, that's the finish line, that's the thing that will help you turn your impact into income, but the biggest shift with all the women that I work with, it's helping them to recognize that their gifts matter, that your wisdom matters, that your experience matters, that your perspective matters, and that it's monetizable, that it should also be valued appropriately, because once you begin valuing your gifts, other people will too. In fact, they already have valued it. They can't believe that you do this work for free. They really can't. And, furthermore, if they expect it for free, when you finally stand in your sovereignty and say, actually, this is what it's worth. They will have permission to do the same. They will have permission to no longer devalue themselves and their gifts. So, what do people come to you for? Let's start there, because the answer to that question is far more than a gift. It is your business, it's your sovereignty, and sister, it is your freedom. It's the very thing that creates the power of choice that you've been looking for all along, that all the women who have come before us, have fought for, yearned for, strived for choice is really at the heart of this matter. When we are free to choose, when we are free to be satisfied, sovereign, when we are free, that's when we have everything that we've wanted, which at this point you know you call it equality, I call it sovereignty and satisfaction. Everything you want, you can have everything you want, and it starts with the power of choice. So, when you're ready to choose, first of all, yourself and your gifts, and when you're ready to get the support that you need, because again it's we as women who are going to support each other through this. When you're ready to get that support, head over to the Satisfied woman.com and let's talk. Book the call. Let's discover exactly the gold mine that you've been sitting on, because I know you are. You don't need more education, you don't need more certificates, you don't need more time.
Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 24:24
My guess is that there's been enough time elapsed already, and it is now time for your impact, for your monetization, for your magic to see the light of day in such a way that it supports you, so I look forward to chatting with you on the call. Head over to The Satisfied woman.com book it. I'll be speaking with you soon, and until then, maybe listen to all the previous podcasts if you haven't, but at the very least stay satisfied, sister.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
