Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 0:00
PH, how do women make money? The answer might surprise you, and the good news is that it is a very different technique from what you're used to. So if you have the secret and the key to unlocking making money, then abundance is actually yours by birthright, and I can't wait to show you the secret to how to get it. Welcome to the satisfied woman podcast. I'm your host. Alanna Kaivalya. This podcast is dedicated to helping women lean into their femininity and rediscover the power of their feminine gifts. We take a look at what it means to be a modern woman and how we can live a satisfied and sovereign life on our own terms. Visit the hub at the satisfied woman.com now if this conversation intrigues you and you want to know, more and more importantly, you'd like to talk about how you as a unique lady can make some money and abundance book a private call with me. It's easy to [email protected] my website. Most buttons on the homepage allow you to do that, and the nav bar at the top has a clear work with me link where you can book your one on one call, where you and I can dive right into what currently isn't working for you and keeping you capped in terms of abundance, and figure out what will work for you and how I can help you build it. So I've been talking a lot about money lately with the women that I work with, and this isn't a new conversation. Remember, I've been a one on one coach for women for the last 10 plus years, and of all of the things that I work with women on money is really at the central part of what we do. What's interesting is that even if a woman comes to me with relationship challenges, maybe she wants to smooth out a relationship that has been toxic for too long. Maybe she wants to attract the right relationship. Maybe once she wants to stop her relationship patterns, there's still going to be at the heart of it a sense of, wait, what do I need to bring to the table to be a sovereign woman in relationship? Sometimes women come to me and they're at the forefront of their careers, midway through or at the end of a career, looking back, going, oh my gosh, that is actually not what I wanted to do at all. Maybe they're inside of a career where they're being undervalued. Maybe they have a family dynamic that undervalues them. Maybe money is out of their control. Maybe they are the sole breadwinner. But whatever I talk to women about, whatever the external seeming problem is at the heart of it, somewhere is going to be a money challenge. Now this makes perfect sense. Money makes the world go round. Most humans are not obsessed with it, but really focused on it in some way, because money provides a level of safety and security that is required for us to live and thrive in our world today. And I want to be clear on that, because there's a lot of hang ups when it comes to money and women aren't there. It's hard for us to acknowledge that we make it it's hard for us to say how much we make, and it is even harder to ask for more of it. God forbid we should ask for more from our partners or inside of our relationships, lest we be labeled a gold digger. Well, I'm going to encourage you to go ahead and roll with that label. I don't think that it's a selfish label. I think that any woman who is attracting the level of abundance that she absolutely deserves is a woman who is sovereign, capable and powerful enough to make her own choices, to have her own legacy and mark on the world, and is never controlled or trapped by others. And those are the kinds of things that women have suffered and endured far too long, and now, in this day and age where women have more power, choice and agency than they've ever had before, I'm excited to say that we do not have to live like that any longer, but I do know that those cultural norms are Still at play that we still have a lot of internalized dialog and narrative around money and for women, there is an extra layer of shame and denial or even oppression when it comes to money. Think about it, we are barely one generation in to women being able to experience having their own money. It was only in 1974 that women were allowed to have their own bank accounts without a male cosigner, or get a business loan or a house loan without. About a male co signer. I mean, this is monumental. So it's not that we're all out of practice, it's that we've never had practice, which is why I'm bringing so much information to you about money, how to make it, how we get it, how we keep it, why it's important for women to make it, because I want to help to start unravel and destigmatize what money is for women. There is a lot of confusion out there, so let's clear it up. And again, I want to just right from the start of this podcast and probably many others that you'll listen to, destigmatize and give you permission to have money, to own and earn money to want more money, because what that is, is a signal of the fullness of your femininity. Now this podcast in particular is talking about how women make money, and I think it's an important I know it's an important topic because we haven't had enough women and a long enough legacy show us how to do it on our terms. So the current thinking and assumption is that there is just one way to make money, and that is in that old school, patriarchal, distorted, masculine, go out and get it, chase after it, earn more of it, success at all costs. Way. Now I can tell you, from experience, from real experience, that as a feminine woman, if you go down that road, that is a road that leads to burnout, that is a road that will cost you far more than you earn because that road was paved by men. Men have been earning money and successful in far greater numbers and capacity than women have. And that's not because we haven't had the numbers or capacity. It's because the societal structure, the abilities afforded to us have all been incredibly limited up until now. We've always wanted to we've always had the ability, ladies, but we haven't had the permission or the structures to be able to do it. And that has changed, and I've even seen it change in the last 10 years. I started my very first online I mean, I've been working for myself my entire life, but most of my work prior to about 2015 was in person, trading time for money in that old school, masculine way, thinking that I needed more, wanted more, that I wasn't successful ever really I would have a benchmark for what I thought success would be, and then that goal post would simply move when I built my first Online Business in 2015 the landscape was very different then, and even in 2015 which is not that long ago, the market was still dominated and saturated and dictated by men. And so I followed in the footsteps of the people that had gone before me, who had some success, who were all men, essentially, for the most part, because these were very early days in online business. And I did what I thought was right, and I did it. I did it. I built a multi seven figure business online, which, statistically speaking, and here's some more numbers that we need to change, less than 2% of all women owned businesses will ever cross the $1 million mark. There are more CEOs named Ralph than there are women CEOs. So again, this isn't about our capability or capacity. Ladies, we have it. We have it. It's within us to do it. There just hasn't been a guidebook or a strategy or a system that works for us. So I'm going to give that to you. I'm going to teach that to you. That is exactly what I do with the women, not just that I coach through shifting our mindset and giving them the skills and tools to do this, but they actually build their businesses for them. A lot of business building is very technical, and you know, when you get into those weeds, it can slow the momentum quite a bit. So I take that very seriously, and I also take it out of the hands of the creative women that I work with, and I build their businesses for them, to give them a good leg up and a head start, because I truly believe in feminine sovereignty. I think that this is one of the clinchers. I think this is one of the inflection points, the linchpins to us really gaining a foothold in living. Life on our terms, because for too long, it has been on their terms. And there is nothing worse than building your ladder, throwing it up against a wall, climbing to the top, only to realize that you are on the wrong wall. And that's what happened to me. In my first business, I was incredibly successful. By all external measures, people thought I was thriving, and by some, you know, measures, I certainly was. But I was more anxious and depressed and lonely and stressed out, compromised and inauthentic than I had ever been in my life, because I was running my business like a man. So I do everything I can to protect the ladies that I work with, and you, my dear podcast listeners, from making that mistake. Now you might be listening thinking, Okay, well, that's all well and good, Alanna, but I don't have my own business. I don't I don't have a thing that I do. I don't even know what I would do. That all sounds really hard and impossible. The great news is that it is not. It is not. I work with women every day to do this. I have worked with women for the last 10 years to create their own business, and the crux of this is truly understanding how women make money. Okay, are you ready? This is groundbreaking stuff, and this is why I do podcasts, ladies, if you wonder why I'm not throwing up 1515, second reels on Facebook or Instagram, number one, I am deep judgment against social media and those platforms for women's mental health, but I also understand that when I tell you how a woman makes money, if I Don't explain it fully, there's going to be resistance. And if I don't give you the foundational understanding to why this is true and real for you, and I just give you the fact here, you're going to say no that that's BS Alanna, and that's a belief system I can't get behind us. Here's here's the fact women make money by attracting it, by magnetizing it, by drawing it to them. This isn't some 2007 era, the secret wishful thinking, laws of attraction, abundance of the universe, magic, okay? It's not that stuff that never worked. It never worked. You can't think your way into a million dollars. I wish you could trust me. I'd be teaching that if that were the case, you do need a level of belief and confidence in yourself, and that is a lot of the work that I do with my coaching clients, but you also need the system, strategy and mechanisms, and if those are off and you don't have an attraction mechanism, then nothing can ever come to you. But women attract money. We receive money. We draw in money, and money is support, energy, faith in what we do, belief in what we do, love in what we do, okay? We bring that to us. Now, when those of you watching on YouTube, so if you're listening to this podcast, you know on, I don't know, Apple or Spotify or in your car, you won't see it, but you can imagine it. For those of you watching on YouTube, I'm bringing out my favorite prop here. This is my vessel. If you've watched any videos or workshops with me here in the last couple of years, you've likely seen this. This is my most favorite vase. It's a gorgeous glass vase, and it fades from this pretty pink through a kind of purple to a blue. It's interesting. It's variegated. It's got a giant opening. And this is my representation of a feminine vessel, if I think of a woman's body in my mind, and if I imagine it, this is the shape I imagine it in. You could have your own shape. But in case you don't, you're welcome to borrow mine. And the point of this is that it is structured. It is contained. Okay? It has strong boundaries. Now I do a lot of work around boundaries. Don't forget, there's about 56 I think, podcasts ahead of this one. So if you're listening here for the first time, you got a lot of study and catch up to do, or you can just book that call with me and let's catch up together. But the point of a feminine vessel is number one, that is boundaried. It is structured, that is determined by what you say no to and what you say yes to. The other point of that is that there is an opening and it can be filled, okay? So for too long in this patriarchal culture that we live, which is really, you know, it doesn't benefit the masculine or the feminine, right? This is not, you know, we love our good men. We love our big hearted men. There's nothing. It's not about man versus woman. It really isn't. And it's not about masculine or feminine being better than another. It's about we as feminine women leaning into our femininity. And there's not enough of that happening, and that has been vilified in the press for far too long. And the reason is because if you do it, there is incredible power and magic to be. Had and a small group at the top of that distorted, patriarchal lottle wants to withhold and keep that magic and power for themselves. It's simple, right? I don't know who started it. There's nobody to blame. That's not the point in the conversation. The point is that in our bodies and minds and hearts as women, so far living this life, we have been taught and embraced and entrained to the wrong behaviors. More than likely, you have lived a life where you believe you have to go out and earn money, where you have to do something to get money. You have to chase after it. You have to put in more time, more effort, more energy, more hours to get it. And that is, again, it's distorted masculinity. It's not even really great for the masculine, you know, the poor masculine men who are on that model. They're burning out too, but in a different capacity and way the women are. What happens when women do it is, we over give we give ourselves away. We burn ourselves out, we devalue ourselves in the process. Because even today, women only earn 80 cents to every dollar a man earns, which means automatically, right from the get go, you have to work 20% harder than a man, regardless, chances are you're going to work 120% harder than them, and they're still going to talk. Still going to talk over you in a board meeting. You're going at it the wrong way. I promise you, I've done it. I've been there. I have been pushed backwards into a corner in a boardroom in New York City. When I had the intellectual property that the company that I was working for wanted, they forced me to sign on a dotted line and told me that if I didn't, I would be out of a job. 10 years later, they make 10s of millions off of what I built for them. That's real. That's how it works. That's how it works. That was many years ago. Don't worry, I'm not holding a grudge. I'm sharing it with you like I have experience in this, right? I know of what I speak not just because I've studied it, and then I have a doctorate, and then I've done psychology, and I studied femininity, and, you know, women's empowerment for 20 years, not just because of the academic side of things, but because I've lived this too. I understand, right? And I've found my way through when I realized that first business was draining me, killing me, turning me into somebody that I wasn't, making me forget who I was. I said no, and I sold it. I sold it. I drew a hard line in the sand, and I said, Never again. And I walked away to build the business that I'm speaking to you through now, and it began with the book, right? The book The Way of the satisfied woman. I said, I have got to let women know that there is a way to live this life that is on their terms, where they attract, magnetize. They bring in the support, the money, the abundance that they need through their gifts. Now here's the real clincher, ladies, number one, again, we live in, you know, dare I say it, a bit of a magical time. I know stuff is still weird. I get it. I know, right, it's not. We're not 100% there. Yet the playing field is not 100% level, but, but ladies, we, we've got to work it. We have so much more now than we even had five years ago, 10 years ago, certainly 20 years ago, and certainly 50 years ago. We've got to lean into it and go hard at it for our sake, for the sake of our soul sisters, and for the sake of all the women who come after us. Let us pave the way. And I hope you feel the same sense of urgency that we do, that I do, so that feminine vessel that is ours, that is our birthright, it gets filled up. It receives the moment you're in a position to try and earn money, where you have to go out and get it, where you have to prove yourself to earn it, where you have to give yourself away to receive it, you're doing it wrong. I know it sounds crazy, because that's the only way anybody's done it, but I'm telling you, there is a different way. If you feel exhausted, if you feel burnt out, if you feel undervalued, if you know you're underpaid, then I hope that what I'm saying is hitting you a little bit right on the inside, because there is a different way. Okay? The other piece to this is that when women attract, magnetize, earn money, they don't do it by selling widgets. Okay? Women, women are not widget pushers. We're. Not, you know, we're not Flugel binder makers. Oh my gosh. If any of you listening get that reference, if you know what movie that comes from, I will give you, I don't know, a free 90 minute coaching call. Any of you comes to me through my website and says, I know what the Flugel binder is, and I know what movie it comes from, you will get a free 90 minute coaching call with me. We will sort your problems out in 90 minutes or less. It's not that women don't hustle, we do. It's not that we can't go hard. We will come on. You know, you I heard this really funny it's really funny thing the other day. It was this exhausted guy, like laying in his bed, and he said, You know what, I've given up on manifesting. Manifesting doesn't work. It doesn't get anything done. I'm doing some manifesting now because we know that if you ever want something done, you're going to ask a woman to do it. Well, amen to that. So if you want to attract, magnetize, draw in your abundance the way that you do it, my dear lady, okay, again, it's different, but better is through your unique gift, not by working for somebody else, not by doing the hustle and grind from eight to five every day. Because, look, that doesn't work for us as women. We are deeply cyclical, right? You know that? I mean, at the very least, most of us exist within this 28 day cycle for several decades of our lives. We have hormonal fluctuations. We have energetic fluctuations. Men can go on a really steady trajectory with very little fluctuation for a long time. So that consists an eight to five model like probably works better for them. I still don't know that it works for everybody. But that kind of consistent, just trudging forward, you know, one foot after the other, and never wavering in their energy, is much more doable for the masculine and for the feminine woman, it is not doable. So the way that we earn, the way that we attract is through creating businesses that live the way we do, that are energetic, that are cyclical, that we can tune up when we need more abundance, that we can slot down or throttle back when we need more rest, when we need more time with our family, Our businesses have to move with us. That's very different from the old school, more patriarchal model, isn't it? Right? Old school patriarchal model, you're doing something wrong. If you're not constantly working harder, you're doing something wrong. If you choose to throttle your business back a little bit for a little while, you're losing momentum. Obviously you're failing. You're actually not right. If you think about how you throw a baseball, and I say this as a woman who really doesn't throw baseballs, I have a great aptitude for lots of physical activity, but when it comes to sports, it's not there. But I do know that when you throw a baseball, you have to retract your arm quite far to gain the kinetic energy and momentum to propel that ball forward. Same with your business. Think about it that way. You know, when I dial it back, when I take time, you can think of them as like mini retirements. I'm spending a month doing something that I love, or a month immersing myself in a new technique I need to learn, or in the past before I got healthy, because I suffered for many years with an autoimmune disorder, I would take a month to try and recover. Okay, women need time like that. Your business has to look different. It has to grow and move with you. And the best way that I've found, and what I counsel my clients through is by putting their magic, their gift online. And one of the biggest pieces of inquiry that we do together, me and my clients, is figuring out what their gift is. If you look at women throughout history, I mean, think about it. Okay, think about it. Women are we are the creators, right? Creative energy is uniquely feminine. We are the ones who create something out of nothing. So all those brand new ideas, they come from feminine energy. Not that they can't come through a man. They can. Men have feminine energy too, but we are the harbingers of it. Okay? So there's something new and unique and interesting within us. There's a way that we help somebody else that is different than they help other people. Women want to help others. Okay, we don't want to sell widgets. We want to sell solutions to the problems, usually of fellow women. After working with women for 10 years, it takes me no time at all talking to a woman to get her to realize that what she wants to do is leave a legacy where the people who come after suffer a little bit less, and whether that's supporting them through big life transitions, whether that's helping them regulate their family systems, whether that's helping them. You know. Move through a divorce. Women are strong at Community Transformation, working with another woman to elevate, rise and transform. And there's your own way that you do that. And yes, there's plenty of room for all of us women to do it. We are all unique enough that whatever your magic is, whatever your gift is, when we find it, other women will be struggling with the same challenge that you bring them through, and they will come to you for support. It is easier now than ever to get your businesses online, to monetize them and to attract the abundance that you deserve now maybe as I talk about this, I start to, you know, you start to think, well, that's that's all well and good. You've done it before. Yes, I have. I've done it a few times before, by myself, for the most part, pulling myself up by my bootstraps. The first time, I had no idea what I was doing. Second and third times, I had a better understanding of what I was doing. The point is, I could do it, and not because I had initially any special training, but because I also hired a business coach who helped me, because I had enough hustle and compulsion in me to share what I knew. And you might be thinking, well, I don't know anything, or I don't have a background in this, that or the other thing. Yes, you do. Yes you do. Think about what your friends, your colleagues, your fellow women, your sisters, already come to you for advice on because they do. That's how women work. That's how women have worked from time immemorial. Think about tribal cultures where women sat around together for the majority of the day talking. That's what we do. We are the communicators. We are the connectors. And there was always a woman you went to for advice on this. And always a woman you went to for advice on that. The modern translation of that is giving your presence, your gift, a business to center around, that people can value you for and come to you through. And that's what I help women do. So how do women make money? They attract it. They magnetize it, specifically through the gift, their unique gift, that they have, that people are already coming to you for. If you're not monetizing that you're devaluing yourself, if you're not recognizing that, well, then my sister, you're forgetting who you are, if you want to remember that, and if you want to bring that to life in a way that actually earns you what you deserve, in a way that is yours, that you control, that moves with you, that scales up when you're ready, and throttles back when you need space, that is the support you need to live a sovereign life on your terms. And let's figure out exactly what your unique gift is and how I can help you bring it into the world. Come to my website, the satisfied woman.com book a private call with me. We'll figure this out. We'll get you sovereign. We'll get you satisfied, and we'll get you exactly the abundance that you deserve. I believe in you. I know what you're capable of. And I know it sounds crazy when I'm talking over your headphones or to your laptop, but I know the soul of a woman. I've been doing this for a long time, and if you're listening and you're thinking about it, then I know what kind of woman you are. You're the kind of woman sitting on something that needs to be birthed. Let's do it together. I look forward to talking with you soon again. Satisfied woman.com Come book your call. Can't wait to hear what your gift is and to meet you until next time, stay satisfied and sovereign, compromise nothing and attract everything.
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
