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As satisfied women we love joy and creativity
so on today's podcast I'd like to present you
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with five ways to elevate joy and creativity
in your life. Welcome to the satisfied woman
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podcast I'm your host Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D.
This podcast is dedicated to helping women
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lean into their femininity and rediscover the
power of their feminine gifts we take a look
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at what it means to be a Modern Woman and
how we can live A Satisfied life on our own
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terms visit the hub at thesatisfiedwoman.com.
The heart of femininity is joy and creativity
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femininity has many many qualities of course and
we can list all of them the two most important
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ones that you'll hear me talk about a lot
are our sense of intuition and our emotion
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when we tap into our intuition and feel our
emotions fully we are in our feminine and
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the response of that the effect of that
is the feeling of joy and the access to
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creativity let me explain joy for a moment
for the feminine Woman as a feminine woman
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we experience Joy through our bodies our gift one
of our gifts because we have many one of our gifts
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is the ability to run pleasure through our bodies
now this isn't just in a sexual sense although
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it is also in a sexual sense this is in a life
affirming sense when we are engaged with life when
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we feel safe secure when we are being cherished
when we have trust in our world our relationships
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our environment we have the ability to run joy
and feel pleasure in our bodies that's that's
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really going to be a Hallmark of the vital sense
and source of our Womanhood in my book The Way
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of the satisfied woman I talk about the Four Keys
for a woman to live a satisfied life I just listed
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them a moment ago but let me give them to you in
a real like concrete way the Four Keys are to have
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a sense of safety and safety is different for all
of us some of us feel safe in one circumstance or
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in another circumstance so you'll determine
and decide what safety means to you but when
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you feel safe that's key number one security
is another one and again that is self-defined
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you may feel secure in one way and another woman
will feel secure in a different way it's up to
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you there's no rules around it but when you feel
secure you have key number two when you are being
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cherished by the world around you and particularly
by your relationships with the masculine whether
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that be a masculine man or a masculine woman
anybody to be cherished means that the world
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around you the places you find yourselves in uh
honor your emotion and your intuition they honor
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your emotions they allow you to emote and most
importantly to be cherished is to never be left
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alone in your emotions that you are supported
by the masculine and finding a resolution for
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whatever is causing the emotional turmoil or
stress within you and trust that you trust
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yourself and that you are trusted that when you
have that intuitive hit that your community your
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relationships the people you love around you they
trust you your intuition and they honor that they
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respond to it okay so the Four Keys for a woman to
be fully in her feminine to feel that sense of joy
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and creativity to access that incredible joy and
creativity that we can feel and experience in life
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as a fe feminine woman require us to have trust to
be cherished by the community around around us to
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have safety and a sense of security Now achieving
those four things can be a constant moving Target
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they're an Ever evolving process they are
self-defined and they will be found for you on
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your terms as a woman but those are the Four Keys
when we have security safety trust and cherishing
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then we have access to our joy and creativity so
Joy is that pleasure running through our body when
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we feel safe to feel that pleasure running through
our body whether it be sexually or simply just in
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a life affirming way we feel revitalized by it and
what's amazing about a woman who can feel joy and
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pleasure is that it feeds the joy and pleasure
of those around her so you can do it by yourself
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of course you can be in a situation where you
are reveling in life in some extraordinary way
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but often times women will feel and experience the
most joy and pleasure when they are in community
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with another or others others will benefit from
that this is the great thing about a woman really
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leaning into her femininity and being in her
Womanhood is that everyone around her benefits
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there's nothing more joy inspiring than the
feminine experiencing its own joy and pleasure I
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think about uh an easy way to understand this the
way that I think about it is is children children
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are like little sources of joy and pleasure and
they are spontaneous and imaginative and creative
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all children for the most part all children
under 10 about the age of 10 are in the feminine
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they just are they're in that playful imaginative
creative mode they're they're not responsible for
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paying bills they're they're not trying to nurture
and grow and accomplish things they're they're in
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their feminine and they're so Joy filled they're
they're inspiring to be around this is why adults
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love being with children because it helps us
reconnect to that joy and creativity whether
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we are in a man's body or a woman's body whether
we identify ourselves as feminine or masculine
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whatever our primary primary polarity is to be
around children is inspiring and joyfill but women
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can have that same effect on others even as we're
experiencing that in a life affirming way ourself
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now creativity is the Wellspring of the feminine
you'll hear me talk about the feminine as a well
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often when when our well is full others can drink
from it and we feel nourished by that a lot of
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self-care will do that creativity will do that
now I myself don't identify as a creative person
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necessarily I I can't paint to save my life I
can't draw anything I I don't I don't know how to
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put colors together I I can't decorate my my own
home you know I just I don't have that aesthetic
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sense of creativity I'm creative in other ways
I guess but don't be intimidated if that's you
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if you feel like oh God I have to do art now to
be creative no no it's not about art or the type
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of art creativity is fed through imagination so
when you're tapped into your imagination whatever
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makes you feel creative will come forth maybe
it's putting together a killer outfit maybe it's
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being the hostess with the mostess for a party
maybe I don't know what it is the whole point
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of creativity is that it doesn't fit in a box it
comes from something else something inside of you
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imagination comes from your soul in psychological
terms we talk about imagination coming from the
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unconscious the unconscious is the domain
of the feminine conscious is masculine
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unconscious is feminine so when we're living
in the unconscious when we're tapped into our
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imagination in whatever way that is whatever
Outlet however that comes forth from within us
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then we are being creative it is unrestricted
unboxed imagination and the freedom to be able to
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access it now when we live life on masculine terms
there's a lot of boxes there's a lot of rules
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there's not a lot of imagination and creativity
so we need to get into that place of creativity
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in order to really feel vibrant and vitalized
in our femininity so I promised you a list of
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five this is where we are in our world today we
love listicles we love things being packaged in
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that way and I'm happy to accommodate let me do
that for you so the five ways to tap into your
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joy and creativity outside once we have those four
Keys present trust cherishing safety security okay
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nothing happens without those right so we're going
to assume the Four Keys are present and then let's
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move into what creates joy and creativity for the
feminine woman number one seek that source of your
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creativity I defined creativity for you is that
ability to tap into your imagination but I don't
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know what that is for you it doesn't have to be
art it's literally anything that enlivens and
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brings forth your imagination uncontained
uncontained space so giving yourself the
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freedom of time uh the freedom of no restrictions
imagination comes from your unconscious it's the
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femin resource and it's the birthplace of all
new ideas so creativity can just be a new idea
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in some regard that you're passionate about
there's no rules there's no limits There's No
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Boundaries so to be in that imaginative space
for a woman is incredibly nourishing the more
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often you can be in that space the better now
we live life all of us live life there's going
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to be times in our day where we need to bring
forth our masculine where we need toing bring
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forth our feminine we may not be able to live in
that wonderful creative space 100% of the time my
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recommendation to you is to get there as often as
you can so that's step number one to bring forth
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joy and creativity number two is to embrace
the value of no I know as a woman that no can
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be scary because we say yes far too often we're
almost indoctrinated into yes as as young girls
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uh we are taught we're told we're inculturated
into yes being a source of value but that leads
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to overextension it leads to saying yes to things
that don't feel good to us it leads to us being
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burnt out it leads to us being inauthentic we
often say yes for fear of being needed that if
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we say no that those around us suddenly won't need
us and we will be discarded this is valid because
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this has happened to women often not just in the
past but now thankfully we are starting to live in
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a time where we have more agency more value more
choices more power now there's another podcast
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where I talk about empowerment and how to know
that you're empowered but when you are empowered
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and and the secret here is is is that you are
always empowered no is incredibly important we say
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yes because we are trained to be all things to all
people at all times but that is not sustainable
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yes leads to inauthenticity burnout and probably
most detrimentally it leads to unmet needs in my
0:12:20.960,0:12:28.480
research getting your needs met as a human is
perhaps the most important thing so and frankly
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satisfaction is defined as the Fulfillment of our
wishes and needs we cannot be satisfied women if
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we are not getting our needs met and we often do
not get our needs met amazingly through yes we get
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it met through no so learn the power of no embrace
the value of no and start to say no to whatever
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it is that doesn't feed your soul that doesn't
allow for creativity that doesn't bring you Joy
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no is going to keep you authentic and leave you
empowered to say yes to what does feed your soul
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all right number three ready for this one stop
giving any [ __ ] about what other people think
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a lot of our inculturation and early training as
a woman is to respond to others judgments of us
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it's okay to stop I'm giving you permission to
stop you don't have to do that anymore it's not
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about what other people think in fact I want to
share with you a really wonderful birthday gift
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I received from um my masculine counterpart
my beloved he gave me a bucket and in it are
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little carved wooden [ __ ] like the word [ __ ]
there's probably a hundred of them in this bucket
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and he gave it to me because he loves the fact
that I very rarely have [ __ ] to give unless
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I actually care about something so he's like here
you go now you can pass them out at will you can
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take them back I sprinkle them on my computer
when I'm writing I'll give him one when I'm caring
0:14:08.920,0:14:14.080
about something it's just a little joke between us
but I thought it was a really wonderful signifier
0:14:14.080,0:14:21.240
that he understands this not just about me but
about femininity that we don't have to care about
0:14:21.240,0:14:29.360
everyone else and social media is so toxic when it
comes to this point social media the foundation of
0:14:29.360,0:14:37.800
is built on likes and dislikes built on trying
to care about the approval of others we don't
0:14:37.800,0:14:45.480
even know it sets us up for failure in this regard
and we don't need it it's one of the reasons why
0:14:45.480,0:14:53.440
I don't engage in social media because you can
look at the studies this isn't me just with my
0:14:53.440,0:15:01.600
own opinion studies show that the effects of
social media on a woman are detrimental our
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emotions particularly young women social media is
incredibly detrimental for us it's difficult to
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be empowered in the social media PL space and so
I have chosen to opt out it's a huge part of my
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value system and something that I employ in this
business so if you don't find me on social media
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now you know why the approval I care most about
is my own it's the only bar we should measure
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ourselves by as our own bar maybe we'll we'll
give some some [ __ ] to those we love and to
0:15:33.680,0:15:38.760
those We Trust yeah okay you know we can we can
ask for their opinions here and there and and
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respond to their opinions about things uh for
us and in our lives and and we'll expand that
0:15:45.840,0:15:54.880
Circle of trust and approval really delicately
and really discerningly all right number four on
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our path to creativity and joy is that emotions
are better out than in I want to tell you about
0:16:00.800,0:16:07.440
a very dear friend of mine who I value so highly
because she more than any other woman in my life
0:16:07.440,0:16:15.240
emotes she emotes freely and she's cultivated a
space and Community around her that value her for
0:16:15.240,0:16:22.080
that everyone understands that her emotions are
powerful but that they're also safe they're also
0:16:22.080,0:16:27.520
true they're also appropriate and and I'm inspired
by her I write about her in my book actually the
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way of the satisfied woman you'll see a little uh
note about her she's wonderful and she sets the
0:16:32.880,0:16:39.600
bar for me that this is what we as women all of
us women need to do find SPAC is where it's safe
0:16:39.600,0:16:46.000
to emote because emotions are the communication
system from our soul they guide us toward our
0:16:46.000,0:16:52.000
sense of safety and comfort remember those four
Keys you'll know that you're safe and comfortable
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through your emotions when your emotions start to
speak to you it's communication that maybe safety
0:16:57.600,0:17:04.240
and comfort are at risk and something needs to
change they guide us to what allows our feminine
0:17:04.240,0:17:13.000
to flourish motions are powerful though it's
why our culture often categorizes them as scary
0:17:13.000,0:17:19.760
they destabilize they can be uh an affront to
other people who are not prepared for them but
0:17:19.760,0:17:23.960
you know what that's those other people's problem
if they're not prepared for our emotions if they
0:17:23.960,0:17:30.640
can't handle what our emotions are communicating
then that's their work not ours it's not ours to
0:17:30.640,0:17:36.280
repress our emotions to try and keep other people
comfortable our emotions are pointing us to what
0:17:36.280,0:17:41.920
will keep us comfortable and remember when a woman
is safe secure cherished and trusted when she has
0:17:41.920,0:17:48.040
that ability to access her joy and creativity not
only does she flourish but everyone around her
0:17:48.040,0:17:58.360
does so maybe consider leaving behind people
situations relationships that don't allow you
0:17:58.360,0:18:04.560
to emote and flourish in your emotions just
consider that just start noticing and make
0:18:04.560,0:18:11.440
good decisions as a result all right number
five for joy and creativity your intuition is
0:18:11.440,0:18:20.640
your best friend there will never be a scenario
where you ignore your intuition and don't regret
0:18:20.640,0:18:26.360
it you will always regret not listening to your
intuition I know that from personal experience
0:18:26.360,0:18:33.040
and I know that from the research your intuition
is there for a reason it's your ancestry all of
0:18:33.040,0:18:40.640
the women who lived before you and survived
they are communicating through time through
0:18:40.640,0:18:46.080
epigenetics through your DNA through your
cellular structure and they're showing up
0:18:46.080,0:18:53.440
for you I actually sometimes hear my intuition
as the voice of my beloved grandmother and I
0:18:53.440,0:19:02.000
I don't ignore that anymore I have in the past
I'm sure you have too it always leads to uh well
0:19:02.000,0:19:10.360
something not good when you ignore your intuition
you're ignoring your own path you're ignoring your
0:19:10.360,0:19:16.760
femininity interestingly your intuition will
often feel like just Comfort like your spidey
0:19:16.760,0:19:22.160
sense triggers and comes up when you're kind of
uncomfortable and what that's calling you to do
0:19:22.160,0:19:29.160
and what that's calling the masculine around you
to do is to course correct discomfort for a woman
0:19:29.160,0:19:36.000
uh means that the path needs to be adjusted
it begins a process of inquiry and this is
0:19:36.000,0:19:39.920
often going to be uncomfortable for the masculine
because the masculine likes to stay on a straight
0:19:39.920,0:19:45.200
road and get to the Finish Line we love the
masculine for that the masculine within us
0:19:45.200,0:19:50.160
as well as that uh of those around us we love
it for that but sometimes that course needs to
0:19:50.160,0:19:57.160
change slightly here's the truth no one will
be un no one will be comfortable as long as a
0:19:57.160,0:20:03.600
woman is experiencing disc Comfort I want to say
that again and shout it from the rooftops no one
0:20:03.600,0:20:10.840
will be comfortable if there is a woman who is
uncomfortable when you experience his comfort
0:20:10.840,0:20:15.760
that is your intuition saying something needs
to change and everyone needs to Rally to that
0:20:15.760,0:20:25.400
so rather than repressing it respond to it answer
it uh when we when we bring it up people are going
0:20:25.400,0:20:29.320
to be uncomfortable too because it means whatever
they're doing needs to be adjusted and sometimes
0:20:29.320,0:20:34.280
adjustments can be uncomfortable ultimately
it's going to lead to a greater connection
0:20:34.280,0:20:40.240
Comfort your own creativity source of Joy your
sense of safety security and when people cherish
0:20:40.240,0:20:48.040
you your emotions and honor your intuition they
trust your intuition you are you are living in in
0:20:48.040,0:20:56.160
a sacred and satisfied world now quick note when
you are uncomfortable when your intuition comes up
0:20:56.160,0:21:02.840
rather than nagging or complaining nobody likes
that try to focus on Solutions try to focus on
0:21:02.840,0:21:09.320
what would be a resolution to this source of
discomfort and actually this is an excellent
0:21:09.320,0:21:14.480
point of collaboration when your intuition brings
up discomfort when you know the course needs to
0:21:14.480,0:21:20.960
be corrected the greatest resource for you as
a feminine woman is actually the masculine to
0:21:20.960,0:21:25.800
get that course corrected and then head down that
path and again whether that's the masculine within
0:21:25.800,0:21:34.480
you or your masculine counterparts that beautiful
collaboration that yin yang that polarity working
0:21:34.480,0:21:43.200
together is what creates balance in the world and
that is how you embark on the path of satisfaction
0:21:43.200,0:21:50.160
remember satisfaction is you getting your wishes
and needs fulfilled it happens when you have the
0:21:50.160,0:21:56.320
Four Keys met that you are trusted and you trust
yourself that you're cherished by the masculine
0:21:56.320,0:22:00.880
either within you or outside of you as that you
have a sense of Safety and Security in whatever
0:22:00.880,0:22:07.120
way you define that that's how you feel joy and
pleasure and expressiveness and vitality through
0:22:07.120,0:22:13.760
your body that's how you engage in creativity
which is the source of everything new in this
0:22:13.760,0:22:18.360
world so if you want to create a new world for
yourself if you want the license to have that kind
0:22:18.360,0:22:24.440
of creativity then these five steps are going to
help you the source of your creativity the value
0:22:24.440,0:22:31.840
of no stop giving so many [ __ ] emotions are
better out an in and make intuition your best
0:22:31.840,0:22:37.760
friend all right my dear satisfied woman thank
you so much for your time and for listening
0:22:37.760,0:22:43.560
to this podcast until next time please join
me in my community at thesatisfiedwoman.com
