0:00:00.880,0:00:08.920
As satisfied women we love joy and creativity 
so on today's podcast I'd like to present you

0:00:08.920,0:00:16.920
with five ways to elevate joy and creativity 
in your life. Welcome to the satisfied woman

0:00:16.920,0:00:22.680
podcast I'm your host Alanna Kaivalya, Ph.D. 
This podcast is dedicated to helping women

0:00:22.680,0:00:28.680
lean into their femininity and rediscover the 
power of their feminine gifts we take a look

0:00:28.680,0:00:34.680
at what it means to be a Modern Woman and 
how we can live A Satisfied life on our own

0:00:34.680,0:00:47.200
terms visit the hub at thesatisfiedwoman.com. 
The heart of femininity is joy and creativity

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femininity has many many qualities of course and 
we can list all of them the two most important

0:00:53.440,0:00:59.920
ones that you'll hear me talk about a lot 
are our sense of intuition and our emotion

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when we tap into our intuition and feel our 
emotions fully we are in our feminine and

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the response of that the effect of that 
is the feeling of joy and the access to

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creativity let me explain joy for a moment 
for the feminine Woman as a feminine woman

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we experience Joy through our bodies our gift one 
of our gifts because we have many one of our gifts

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is the ability to run pleasure through our bodies 
now this isn't just in a sexual sense although

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it is also in a sexual sense this is in a life 
affirming sense when we are engaged with life when

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we feel safe secure when we are being cherished 
when we have trust in our world our relationships

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our environment we have the ability to run joy 
and feel pleasure in our bodies that's that's

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really going to be a Hallmark of the vital sense 
and source of our Womanhood in my book The Way

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of the satisfied woman I talk about the Four Keys 
for a woman to live a satisfied life I just listed

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them a moment ago but let me give them to you in 
a real like concrete way the Four Keys are to have

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a sense of safety and safety is different for all 
of us some of us feel safe in one circumstance or

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in another circumstance so you'll determine 
and decide what safety means to you but when

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you feel safe that's key number one security 
is another one and again that is self-defined

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you may feel secure in one way and another woman 
will feel secure in a different way it's up to

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you there's no rules around it but when you feel 
secure you have key number two when you are being

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cherished by the world around you and particularly 
by your relationships with the masculine whether

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that be a masculine man or a masculine woman 
anybody to be cherished means that the world

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around you the places you find yourselves in uh 
honor your emotion and your intuition they honor

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your emotions they allow you to emote and most 
importantly to be cherished is to never be left

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alone in your emotions that you are supported 
by the masculine and finding a resolution for

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whatever is causing the emotional turmoil or 
stress within you and trust that you trust

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yourself and that you are trusted that when you 
have that intuitive hit that your community your

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relationships the people you love around you they 
trust you your intuition and they honor that they

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respond to it okay so the Four Keys for a woman to 
be fully in her feminine to feel that sense of joy

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and creativity to access that incredible joy and 
creativity that we can feel and experience in life

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as a fe feminine woman require us to have trust to 
be cherished by the community around around us to

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have safety and a sense of security Now achieving 
those four things can be a constant moving Target

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they're an Ever evolving process they are 
self-defined and they will be found for you on

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your terms as a woman but those are the Four Keys 
when we have security safety trust and cherishing

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then we have access to our joy and creativity so 
Joy is that pleasure running through our body when

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we feel safe to feel that pleasure running through 
our body whether it be sexually or simply just in

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a life affirming way we feel revitalized by it and 
what's amazing about a woman who can feel joy and

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pleasure is that it feeds the joy and pleasure 
of those around her so you can do it by yourself

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of course you can be in a situation where you 
are reveling in life in some extraordinary way

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but often times women will feel and experience the 
most joy and pleasure when they are in community

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with another or others others will benefit from 
that this is the great thing about a woman really

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leaning into her femininity and being in her 
Womanhood is that everyone around her benefits

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there's nothing more joy inspiring than the 
feminine experiencing its own joy and pleasure I

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think about uh an easy way to understand this the 
way that I think about it is is children children

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are like little sources of joy and pleasure and 
they are spontaneous and imaginative and creative

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all children for the most part all children 
under 10 about the age of 10 are in the feminine

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they just are they're in that playful imaginative 
creative mode they're they're not responsible for

0:05:59.200,0:06:05.120
paying bills they're they're not trying to nurture 
and grow and accomplish things they're they're in

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their feminine and they're so Joy filled they're 
they're inspiring to be around this is why adults

0:06:14.120,0:06:21.160
love being with children because it helps us 
reconnect to that joy and creativity whether

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we are in a man's body or a woman's body whether 
we identify ourselves as feminine or masculine

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whatever our primary primary polarity is to be 
around children is inspiring and joyfill but women

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can have that same effect on others even as we're 
experiencing that in a life affirming way ourself

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now creativity is the Wellspring of the feminine 
you'll hear me talk about the feminine as a well

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often when when our well is full others can drink 
from it and we feel nourished by that a lot of

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self-care will do that creativity will do that 
now I myself don't identify as a creative person

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necessarily I I can't paint to save my life I 
can't draw anything I I don't I don't know how to

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put colors together I I can't decorate my my own 
home you know I just I don't have that aesthetic

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sense of creativity I'm creative in other ways 
I guess but don't be intimidated if that's you

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if you feel like oh God I have to do art now to 
be creative no no it's not about art or the type

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of art creativity is fed through imagination so 
when you're tapped into your imagination whatever

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makes you feel creative will come forth maybe 
it's putting together a killer outfit maybe it's

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being the hostess with the mostess for a party 
maybe I don't know what it is the whole point

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of creativity is that it doesn't fit in a box it 
comes from something else something inside of you

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imagination comes from your soul in psychological 
terms we talk about imagination coming from the

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unconscious the unconscious is the domain 
of the feminine conscious is masculine

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unconscious is feminine so when we're living 
in the unconscious when we're tapped into our

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imagination in whatever way that is whatever 
Outlet however that comes forth from within us

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then we are being creative it is unrestricted 
unboxed imagination and the freedom to be able to

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access it now when we live life on masculine terms 
there's a lot of boxes there's a lot of rules

0:08:46.880,0:08:52.800
there's not a lot of imagination and creativity 
so we need to get into that place of creativity

0:08:52.800,0:09:01.240
in order to really feel vibrant and vitalized 
in our femininity so I promised you a list of

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five this is where we are in our world today we 
love listicles we love things being packaged in

0:09:08.200,0:09:13.560
that way and I'm happy to accommodate let me do 
that for you so the five ways to tap into your

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joy and creativity outside once we have those four 
Keys present trust cherishing safety security okay

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nothing happens without those right so we're going 
to assume the Four Keys are present and then let's

0:09:28.280,0:09:35.120
move into what creates joy and creativity for the 
feminine woman number one seek that source of your

0:09:35.120,0:09:39.800
creativity I defined creativity for you is that 
ability to tap into your imagination but I don't

0:09:39.800,0:09:45.360
know what that is for you it doesn't have to be 
art it's literally anything that enlivens and

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brings forth your imagination uncontained 
uncontained space so giving yourself the

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freedom of time uh the freedom of no restrictions 
imagination comes from your unconscious it's the

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femin resource and it's the birthplace of all 
new ideas so creativity can just be a new idea

0:10:06.160,0:10:10.600
in some regard that you're passionate about 
there's no rules there's no limits There's No

0:10:10.600,0:10:17.960
Boundaries so to be in that imaginative space 
for a woman is incredibly nourishing the more

0:10:17.960,0:10:24.640
often you can be in that space the better now 
we live life all of us live life there's going

0:10:24.640,0:10:29.520
to be times in our day where we need to bring 
forth our masculine where we need toing bring

0:10:29.520,0:10:36.760
forth our feminine we may not be able to live in 
that wonderful creative space 100% of the time my

0:10:36.760,0:10:43.840
recommendation to you is to get there as often as 
you can so that's step number one to bring forth

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joy and creativity number two is to embrace 
the value of no I know as a woman that no can

0:10:56.000,0:11:06.400
be scary because we say yes far too often we're 
almost indoctrinated into yes as as young girls

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uh we are taught we're told we're inculturated 
into yes being a source of value but that leads

0:11:13.080,0:11:19.640
to overextension it leads to saying yes to things 
that don't feel good to us it leads to us being

0:11:19.640,0:11:29.440
burnt out it leads to us being inauthentic we 
often say yes for fear of being needed that if

0:11:29.440,0:11:35.960
we say no that those around us suddenly won't need 
us and we will be discarded this is valid because

0:11:35.960,0:11:44.280
this has happened to women often not just in the 
past but now thankfully we are starting to live in

0:11:44.280,0:11:52.720
a time where we have more agency more value more 
choices more power now there's another podcast

0:11:52.720,0:11:58.080
where I talk about empowerment and how to know 
that you're empowered but when you are empowered

0:11:58.080,0:12:05.560
and and the secret here is is is that you are 
always empowered no is incredibly important we say

0:12:05.560,0:12:12.440
yes because we are trained to be all things to all 
people at all times but that is not sustainable

0:12:12.440,0:12:20.960
yes leads to inauthenticity burnout and probably 
most detrimentally it leads to unmet needs in my

0:12:20.960,0:12:28.480
research getting your needs met as a human is 
perhaps the most important thing so and frankly

0:12:28.480,0:12:35.280
satisfaction is defined as the Fulfillment of our 
wishes and needs we cannot be satisfied women if

0:12:35.280,0:12:42.360
we are not getting our needs met and we often do 
not get our needs met amazingly through yes we get

0:12:42.360,0:12:50.040
it met through no so learn the power of no embrace 
the value of no and start to say no to whatever

0:12:50.040,0:12:58.040
it is that doesn't feed your soul that doesn't 
allow for creativity that doesn't bring you Joy

0:12:58.040,0:13:08.800
no is going to keep you authentic and leave you 
empowered to say yes to what does feed your soul

0:13:08.800,0:13:17.040
all right number three ready for this one stop 
giving any [ __ ] about what other people think

0:13:17.040,0:13:26.000
a lot of our inculturation and early training as 
a woman is to respond to others judgments of us

0:13:26.000,0:13:32.040
it's okay to stop I'm giving you permission to 
stop you don't have to do that anymore it's not

0:13:32.040,0:13:37.800
about what other people think in fact I want to 
share with you a really wonderful birthday gift

0:13:37.800,0:13:46.240
I received from um my masculine counterpart 
my beloved he gave me a bucket and in it are

0:13:46.240,0:13:54.120
little carved wooden [ __ ] like the word [ __ ] 
there's probably a hundred of them in this bucket

0:13:54.120,0:13:59.240
and he gave it to me because he loves the fact 
that I very rarely have [ __ ] to give unless

0:13:59.240,0:14:03.600
I actually care about something so he's like here 
you go now you can pass them out at will you can

0:14:03.600,0:14:08.920
take them back I sprinkle them on my computer 
when I'm writing I'll give him one when I'm caring

0:14:08.920,0:14:14.080
about something it's just a little joke between us 
but I thought it was a really wonderful signifier

0:14:14.080,0:14:21.240
that he understands this not just about me but 
about femininity that we don't have to care about

0:14:21.240,0:14:29.360
everyone else and social media is so toxic when it 
comes to this point social media the foundation of

0:14:29.360,0:14:37.800
is built on likes and dislikes built on trying 
to care about the approval of others we don't

0:14:37.800,0:14:45.480
even know it sets us up for failure in this regard 
and we don't need it it's one of the reasons why

0:14:45.480,0:14:53.440
I don't engage in social media because you can 
look at the studies this isn't me just with my

0:14:53.440,0:15:01.600
own opinion studies show that the effects of 
social media on a woman are detrimental our

0:15:01.600,0:15:07.680
emotions particularly young women social media is 
incredibly detrimental for us it's difficult to

0:15:07.680,0:15:14.040
be empowered in the social media PL space and so 
I have chosen to opt out it's a huge part of my

0:15:14.040,0:15:20.080
value system and something that I employ in this 
business so if you don't find me on social media

0:15:20.080,0:15:28.640
now you know why the approval I care most about 
is my own it's the only bar we should measure

0:15:28.640,0:15:33.680
ourselves by as our own bar maybe we'll we'll 
give some some [ __ ] to those we love and to

0:15:33.680,0:15:38.760
those We Trust yeah okay you know we can we can 
ask for their opinions here and there and and

0:15:38.760,0:15:45.840
respond to their opinions about things uh for 
us and in our lives and and we'll expand that

0:15:45.840,0:15:54.880
Circle of trust and approval really delicately 
and really discerningly all right number four on

0:15:54.880,0:16:00.800
our path to creativity and joy is that emotions 
are better out than in I want to tell you about

0:16:00.800,0:16:07.440
a very dear friend of mine who I value so highly 
because she more than any other woman in my life

0:16:07.440,0:16:15.240
emotes she emotes freely and she's cultivated a 
space and Community around her that value her for

0:16:15.240,0:16:22.080
that everyone understands that her emotions are 
powerful but that they're also safe they're also

0:16:22.080,0:16:27.520
true they're also appropriate and and I'm inspired 
by her I write about her in my book actually the

0:16:27.520,0:16:32.880
way of the satisfied woman you'll see a little uh 
note about her she's wonderful and she sets the

0:16:32.880,0:16:39.600
bar for me that this is what we as women all of 
us women need to do find SPAC is where it's safe

0:16:39.600,0:16:46.000
to emote because emotions are the communication 
system from our soul they guide us toward our

0:16:46.000,0:16:52.000
sense of safety and comfort remember those four 
Keys you'll know that you're safe and comfortable

0:16:52.000,0:16:57.600
through your emotions when your emotions start to 
speak to you it's communication that maybe safety

0:16:57.600,0:17:04.240
and comfort are at risk and something needs to 
change they guide us to what allows our feminine

0:17:04.240,0:17:13.000
to flourish motions are powerful though it's 
why our culture often categorizes them as scary

0:17:13.000,0:17:19.760
they destabilize they can be uh an affront to 
other people who are not prepared for them but

0:17:19.760,0:17:23.960
you know what that's those other people's problem 
if they're not prepared for our emotions if they

0:17:23.960,0:17:30.640
can't handle what our emotions are communicating 
then that's their work not ours it's not ours to

0:17:30.640,0:17:36.280
repress our emotions to try and keep other people 
comfortable our emotions are pointing us to what

0:17:36.280,0:17:41.920
will keep us comfortable and remember when a woman 
is safe secure cherished and trusted when she has

0:17:41.920,0:17:48.040
that ability to access her joy and creativity not 
only does she flourish but everyone around her

0:17:48.040,0:17:58.360
does so maybe consider leaving behind people 
situations relationships that don't allow you

0:17:58.360,0:18:04.560
to emote and flourish in your emotions just 
consider that just start noticing and make

0:18:04.560,0:18:11.440
good decisions as a result all right number 
five for joy and creativity your intuition is

0:18:11.440,0:18:20.640
your best friend there will never be a scenario 
where you ignore your intuition and don't regret

0:18:20.640,0:18:26.360
it you will always regret not listening to your 
intuition I know that from personal experience

0:18:26.360,0:18:33.040
and I know that from the research your intuition 
is there for a reason it's your ancestry all of

0:18:33.040,0:18:40.640
the women who lived before you and survived 
they are communicating through time through

0:18:40.640,0:18:46.080
epigenetics through your DNA through your 
cellular structure and they're showing up

0:18:46.080,0:18:53.440
for you I actually sometimes hear my intuition 
as the voice of my beloved grandmother and I

0:18:53.440,0:19:02.000
I don't ignore that anymore I have in the past 
I'm sure you have too it always leads to uh well

0:19:02.000,0:19:10.360
something not good when you ignore your intuition 
you're ignoring your own path you're ignoring your

0:19:10.360,0:19:16.760
femininity interestingly your intuition will 
often feel like just Comfort like your spidey

0:19:16.760,0:19:22.160
sense triggers and comes up when you're kind of 
uncomfortable and what that's calling you to do

0:19:22.160,0:19:29.160
and what that's calling the masculine around you 
to do is to course correct discomfort for a woman

0:19:29.160,0:19:36.000
uh means that the path needs to be adjusted 
it begins a process of inquiry and this is

0:19:36.000,0:19:39.920
often going to be uncomfortable for the masculine 
because the masculine likes to stay on a straight

0:19:39.920,0:19:45.200
road and get to the Finish Line we love the 
masculine for that the masculine within us

0:19:45.200,0:19:50.160
as well as that uh of those around us we love 
it for that but sometimes that course needs to

0:19:50.160,0:19:57.160
change slightly here's the truth no one will 
be un no one will be comfortable as long as a

0:19:57.160,0:20:03.600
woman is experiencing disc Comfort I want to say 
that again and shout it from the rooftops no one

0:20:03.600,0:20:10.840
will be comfortable if there is a woman who is 
uncomfortable when you experience his comfort

0:20:10.840,0:20:15.760
that is your intuition saying something needs 
to change and everyone needs to Rally to that

0:20:15.760,0:20:25.400
so rather than repressing it respond to it answer 
it uh when we when we bring it up people are going

0:20:25.400,0:20:29.320
to be uncomfortable too because it means whatever 
they're doing needs to be adjusted and sometimes

0:20:29.320,0:20:34.280
adjustments can be uncomfortable ultimately 
it's going to lead to a greater connection

0:20:34.280,0:20:40.240
Comfort your own creativity source of Joy your 
sense of safety security and when people cherish

0:20:40.240,0:20:48.040
you your emotions and honor your intuition they 
trust your intuition you are you are living in in

0:20:48.040,0:20:56.160
a sacred and satisfied world now quick note when 
you are uncomfortable when your intuition comes up

0:20:56.160,0:21:02.840
rather than nagging or complaining nobody likes 
that try to focus on Solutions try to focus on

0:21:02.840,0:21:09.320
what would be a resolution to this source of 
discomfort and actually this is an excellent

0:21:09.320,0:21:14.480
point of collaboration when your intuition brings 
up discomfort when you know the course needs to

0:21:14.480,0:21:20.960
be corrected the greatest resource for you as 
a feminine woman is actually the masculine to

0:21:20.960,0:21:25.800
get that course corrected and then head down that 
path and again whether that's the masculine within

0:21:25.800,0:21:34.480
you or your masculine counterparts that beautiful 
collaboration that yin yang that polarity working

0:21:34.480,0:21:43.200
together is what creates balance in the world and 
that is how you embark on the path of satisfaction

0:21:43.200,0:21:50.160
remember satisfaction is you getting your wishes 
and needs fulfilled it happens when you have the

0:21:50.160,0:21:56.320
Four Keys met that you are trusted and you trust 
yourself that you're cherished by the masculine

0:21:56.320,0:22:00.880
either within you or outside of you as that you 
have a sense of Safety and Security in whatever

0:22:00.880,0:22:07.120
way you define that that's how you feel joy and 
pleasure and expressiveness and vitality through

0:22:07.120,0:22:13.760
your body that's how you engage in creativity 
which is the source of everything new in this

0:22:13.760,0:22:18.360
world so if you want to create a new world for 
yourself if you want the license to have that kind

0:22:18.360,0:22:24.440
of creativity then these five steps are going to 
help you the source of your creativity the value

0:22:24.440,0:22:31.840
of no stop giving so many [ __ ] emotions are 
better out an in and make intuition your best

0:22:31.840,0:22:37.760
friend all right my dear satisfied woman thank 
you so much for your time and for listening

0:22:37.760,0:22:43.560
to this podcast until next time please join 
me in my community at thesatisfiedwoman.com